Silly Season

In the spirit of true science, a group of people with way too much time on their hands drops 50 lbs of silly putty off the top of a car park.

Fat Police

New York is not only banning trans fatty acids from restaurants, but also tracking diabetics as if they were suffering from a communicable disease.

Others may disagree, but I, for one, welcome our dietary overlords. This annoying little thing called personal liberty is far too great an impediment to a healthy, progressive, go-ahead lifestyle that we all aspire to-- and if we don't, the State will make damn sure we do. Remember, the Party needs healthy workers, comrades.

Robotender II

Making a living serving drinks in between hunting for Sarah Conner.

Honour Restored

Lance-corporal Billy Windsor of the 1st Battalion the Royal Welsh has regained his rank after being demoted to fusilier last June for running amok at the Queen's birthday at a military base in Cyprus.

Lance-corporal Windsor was unavailable for comment because he's a goat.

Poll Results

Tiger Tanaka (1922-2006)

Welcome to Japan, Mr. Bond.

Tiger Tanaka

Tiger Tanaka, AKA Tetsuro Tamba, head of the Japanese Secret Service, actor, and religious figure (despite being dubbed by Robert Rietty) has passed on at the age of 84.

Sayanora, Tiger. We'll miss you.

Deutschland Dhimmitude

First it was cartoons, then the Pope and now Mozart. Berlin's Deutsche Oper has cancelled a production of Idomeneo for fear of offending Muslims, who haven't even bothered to protest yet. According to Flemming Rose, culture editor of Denmark's Jyllands-Posten paper that published the infamous Mohammed cartoons,

You play into the hands of the radicals. You are telling them: your tactics are working. This is a victory for the radicals. It's weakening the moderate Muslims who are our allies in this battle of ideas.

One of the world's greatest composers has been muzzled out of fear of the barbarians. Welcome to the Dark Ages.

Update: Meanwhile, Belgium is having problems of its own.

Rod Serling, Call Your Service

This is spooky, I was considering making a reference to Iva Toguri d'Aquino, AKA Tokyo Rose, in the previous post, and now I find out that she's just died at the age of 90.

Doo doo doo doo. Doo doo doo doo. Doo doo doo doo. Doo doo doo doo.

Vidkun Quisling, Call Your Service

In a prime example of why the Human Rights Act is a scrap of legal insanity, George Blake, the British traitor who was a Soviet spy actively working against Britain inside of MI6 for ten years and then fled to Moscow after breaking prison, has won a case in the European Court of Human rights claiming that Britain had violated his rights.

Lord Haw Haw, Benedict Arnold and Judas were unavailable for comment.

Real World Intrusion

Today is one of those convergences of the planets that causes the postings of Time to collide with the shredder of Eternity. I have a client project to wind up, a huge glop of site maintenance to deal with, a breakthrough in a book proposal I've had on hold for six months, friends in town AND a seven-month old cattle dog puppy that needs to be exercised in between so he won't suddenly want to play at midnight again, so I'm going to be away from cyberspace today.

Back tomorrow.

Wang Chung

I'm going to be a bit busy today, so I suggest that in the meantime everybody Wang Chung tonight, as it were.

The Wizard of Speed & Time

A marvelous little gem from Mike Jittlov, an incredibly talented special effects artist with a love of cinema, but who never broke into the big time because he never could play by the rules. This one is a short piece called The Wizard of Speed & Time that he made into a semi-autobiographical feature film of the same title in 1989.

Think of it as an ode to the joys of drinking way too much caffeine.

Tesla Memorial

A bronze statue of Nikola Tesla has been unveiled at Queen Victoria Park, Niagra Falls, Canada.

I'd say something about it sparking new interest, but that's going too low even for me.

Dying in Dhimmitude

Nottingham City Council is building a new £2.5 million multi-faith cemetery in Bulwell. What is noteworthy is that "multi-faith" in Nottingham means that all the graves, including the Christian ones, will face Mecca. According to Steve Dowling, services director for Environment and Public Protection,

In the first phase of development it has been agreed that the graves will face north east.

For people of the Muslim faith this fits in with a religious requirement, but it will also ensure a tidy appearance for the site as a whole.

What a great slogan: Keep Britain Tidy, Accept Dhimmitude.

Tip o' the hat to Drinking From Home.

Bin Laden Dead?

According to a leaked French DGSE intelligence services report, the Saudis believe that Osama Bin Laden reverted to ambient temperature back in August due to a bout of typhoid.

We've been down this road too many times since Tora Bora, but we can always hope. One thing is for certain, the fact that he hasn't even been seen on video for a couple of years makes me suspect that he's a brain in a jar by now-- possibly awaiting installation in a new cyborg killbot.

Poll Results

Damn!

The Bishop!

A cleric for our times.

Sauron, Call Your Service

One Ring to rule them, and one Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them, and in the dark bind them.

It isn't quite like that, but the Remember Ring is a first step. Slip this on your finger and it's programmed to heat up to 120 degrees Fahrenheit on a specific day *cough* anniversary *cough* every hour for 24 hours-- and it runs on a thermopile that makes electricity from your body heat, so you can't hope for the batteries to run down.

My wife is fitting me up for one as we speak.

Perhaps

Lord Carey, the former Archbishop of Canterbury, quoting Samuel Huntington of "Clash of Civilisations" fame:

The fundamental problem for the West is not Islamic fundamentalism. It is Islam, a different civilisation whose people are convinced of the superiority of their culture and are obsessed with the inferiority of their power.

This isn't just a problem for the West, but for moderate Muslims, who tend not to have the theological chops of the fundamentalists, as well. I sincerely hope that it isn't that bad, but we'd be fools not to consider the possibility that what is needed is not just to defeat the Jihadists in the field, but to begin an Islamic Reformation to undercut their ideological roots.

Just Not Getting It

The Home Secretary Mr. John Reid was heckled by a Muslim "activist" who said he was "furious" about "state terrorism by the police" and called Mr. Reid an "enemy" of Islam.

Imagine a German immigrant doing that in Britain in 1943 and you'll see that both the government and the Muslim "community" have a very long way to go.

Anti-Terrorist Fish

They couldn't find any great whites, so they had to settle for blue gills instead.

Mickey Mouse Mars.

The first trip to Mars circa 1957, courtesy of Werner Von Braun and Walt Disney.

Big Brother is Shouting at You

Not content with spying on the population, Middlesbrough is now equipping CCTV cameras with tannoys to shout at people when they disobey party directives misbehave.

If this sort of thing goes on, Middlesbrough will soon enjoy scenes like this (courtesy of George Orwell):

'Smith!' screamed the shrewish voice from the telescreen. '6079 Smith W.! Yes, you! Bend lower, please! You can do better than that. You're not trying. Lower, please! That's better, comrade. Now stand at ease, the whole squad, and watch me.'

A sudden hot sweat had broken out all over Winston's body. His face remained completely inscrutable. Never show dismay! Never show resentment! A single flicker of the eyes could give you away. He stood watching while the instructress raised her arms above her head and -- one could not say gracefully, but with remarkable neatness and efficiency -- bent over and tucked the first joint of her fingers under her toes.

'There, comrades! That's how I want to see you doing it. Watch me again. I'm thirty-nine and I've had four children. Now look.' She bent over again. 'You see my knees aren't bent. You can all do it if you want to,' she added as she straightened herself up. 'Anyone under forty-five is perfectly capable of touching his toes. We don't all have the privilege of fighting in the front line, but at least we can all keep fit. Remember our boys on the Malabar front! And the sailors in the Floating Fortresses! Just think what they have to put up with. Now try again. That's better, comrade, that's much better,' she added encouragingly as Winston, with a violent lunge, succeeded in touching his toes with knees unbent, for the first time in several years.

What happy times are ahead of us!

Religion of Peace

Al Qaeda in Iraq has joined the Pope War with a remarkable comminique that refutes the claim that the Jihadis are a violent movement that believes in forced conversions to Islam.

You infidels and despotic, we will continue our jihad and never stop until God avails us to chop your necks and raise the fluttering banner of monotheism when God's rule is established governing all people and nations...

We will break up the cross, spill the liquor and impose head tax, then the only thing acceptable is a conversion or the sword.

Perhaps "refutes" isn't the word I'm looking for.

Introducing...

And now, may I present the newest member of the Szondy family: Carl the cattle dog. Actually, he's a cattle dog mix, but why let that ruin a good moniker?

I shall refrain from doting doggy anecdotes... For now.

Quote of the Day

We live in a world of terrorism where evil acts are being regularly perpetrated in the name of your faith.

And because it is your faith that is being invoked as justification for these evil acts, it is your problem.

You can't wish it away, or ignore it, just because it has been caused by others.

Instead, speak up and condemn terrorism, defend your role in the way of life that we all share here in Australia.

Andrew Robb, Australian government multicultural spokesman to 100 imams in Sydney

Pope Wars

The "Muslim rage" after the Pope's address is following the script. On the West Bank, two Christian churches were firebombed and in Delhi, Muslim rioters ran true to form when they ended up turning on one another.

Meanwhile, His Holiness has apologised for any offence his speech might have caused, but whether this will be taken as abject enough by the Jihadists remains to be seen, as this image shows:

Ralph Peters explains the significance of this peculiar slogan:

Look at that sign. "Mr. Pope be with in your limits." What limits? Classic Islamic law stipulates that Christians may live in peace in Islamic societies as long as they accept second-class status as dhimmis, which involves living within certain limits: not holding authority over Muslims, paying the jizya tax, not building new churches or repairing old ones, and...not insulting Allah or Muhammad. If they believe that a Christian has insulted them in some way, even inadvertently, his contract of protection -- dhimma -- is voided.

In other words, the Jihadists will accept the existence of those who do not agree with them as, at most, strictly a matter of sufferance and that the Pope's duty is to demonstrate that he and all of Christendom are subservient to the umma.

Frankly, instead of apologising, the Pope should have quoted US Army General Anthony C. McAuliffe who, when called on by the Germans to surrender during the siege of Bastogne in 1944, said,

Nuts.

Update: In a move surprising to no one, the BBC falls squarely on the side of dhimmitude and blames the Pope's lack of "sensitivity" and his unreasonable policy of demanding religious freedom for Christians in Muslim countries.

How dare he!

BBC NEWS: Murder probe after man found dead

Because starting it beforehand would have been jumping the gun.

Cartoon Echoes

Pope Benedict the 16^th quoted, and made very clear he was quoting, Emperor Manuel II Paleologos of Byzantium in an adress on the incompatibility of violence and the nature of God where the late emperor critcised Mohammed for spreading religion by the sword and Muslim "leaders" are working themselves into a froth about it in a way that is unnervingly reminiscent of the Cartoon Wars earlier this year; howling denunciations, demands for apologies, burnings in effigy-- you get the idea.

Cue the riots.

No, Mr. Bond. I Expect You to Lose a Finger.

A safe with laser beams! Unfortunately, all it does is activate an alarm.

Where's the fun in that?

Telegraph: Gibraltar, the last resort of Neanderthal man

Granted, they aren't the most sophisticated people in the world, but that's just harsh.

Spin And Spin Again

Doctor Who fans may have dodged the bullet of a Rose Tyler spin-off, but have now been squaely hit with a Sarah Jane Smith spin-off. Hopefully, it will come off better than last time.

K9 was unavailable for comment.

A Car Promo Too Far

One day, they all went mad.

Butter Gauntlets

The astronauts aboard the International Space Station lost another bolt today and broke a power tool while installing a solar panel.

What the heck is going on here? Come on, lads. This isn't rocket... Hang on. Never mind.

BF Lens

For the peeping tom with sights on the YWCA on top of Mount Everest, the Ziess company has come out with the STL Sonnar T* 4/1700 telephoto lens. It weighing in at 564 lbs, so you're going to need a bigger bag to take this one birdwatching.

Missing Step Two

To help with food shortages, the Communist regime in North Korea is "encouraging" people to breed rabbits for meat.

Given that the North Koreans have in the past been reduced to eating grass, one wonders what the rabbits are going to eat.

Telegraph: Hedgehog Mafia to hunt down pests as part of garden's sustainable policy

Nice garden you got here. Shame if anything happened to it.

Robopavement

Now they're just getting silly.

Irrational Rationality

Professor Bruce Hood declares that human beings will always be superstitious because they are hardwired to be irrational. He bases this on the fact that no matter how hard he tries to persuade people otherwise, they continue cling to ideas that he does not hold, such as preferring cherished possessions with all their history to so-called "exact" copies, dislike for being lied to about a pen supposedly belonging to Albert Einstein, refusing to wear the cardigan of a mass murderer, believing in religion, and concluding that Professor Hood's ideas are a load of illogical twaddle.

Flying Into Absurdity

First it was nail clippers, then it was any sort of liquid and now it's t-shirts. Any day now they'll declare allowing passengers onboard a security risk and the airlines will shuttle empty planes through the skies.

Headline of the Day

Kenyan joy as world fails to end

Great Inventions: Hedgehog Division

If you have a hedgehog and this is just what you've been looking for, you need to get out more.

Update: Link repaired

Slow News Day

Astronauts lose bolt during spacewalk

R2D2, Eat Your Heart Out

Finally, someone understands what progress is truly all about.

Another Nail

The first successful prosecution since the abolition of double jeopardy has ended. The good news is that a murderer has been brought to justice. The bad news is that an 800-year protection against tyranny has been chucked down the chute as if it were an inconvenient bit of bureaucracy.

Hobbit Hole of the Apocalypse

Looking for a comfortable way to ride out Armageddon? Then this fetching little country place is just for you. It may look like the sort of place Bilbo Baggins would hang out in, but it's actually made out of specially re-enforced concrete, includes a safe room with bath, an propane/solar electrical generating system, and a Swiss-made Luwa nuclear, biological, chemical air filter. Also, it's situated on a nice little parcel of land in the San Juan Mountains of Colorado, so you don't have to worry about fending off the consequences of the collapse of urban civilisation.

How well it does against Nazgul seeking the One Ring, we aren't sure.

Five Years On

It's been five years since that horrible day when the towers fell and we learned that we were at war with a load of murdering barbarians straight out of the 7^th century who both envy and hate us, but in the year since the last anniversary things have taken a chilling turn. We have not only seen the cartoon wars, the Lebanon campaign, the burning of France, the nuclear stand-off with Iran and the abortive attempt to take down ten airliners simultaneously, but we have also encountered a streak of appeasement, apologetics, media deception, political opportunism and rank cowardice emerging among politicians, the media and academics in the West that makes me increasing fearful that 9/11 was not a replay of Pearl Harbour, but of the start of the road to Munich.

I still remain optimistic about our ability to defeat the Islamofascists, but the question is, how commited are we to the fight and how high a price are we going to have to pay for our hesitation. It is increasingly clear that unless Western governments recognise that this is literally war and that if we don't face the Jihadists squarely and without apology today, we will be forced into something very close to total war tomorrow that will be fought not only in foreign lands, but in the streets of Europe's capitals.

However, there are still many bright spots of optimism, such as a recent opinion piece in the Las Vegas Review-Journal where American Muslim Aslam Abdullah responds to Abu Hamza al-Muhajer, the leader of Al Qaeda in Iraq, who has called on Muslims to kill at least one American in the next two weeks.

There is nothing common between you and us.

We stand for life, you want to destroy it.

We accept the divine scheme of diversity in the world and you want to impose conformity.

We respect every human being simply because he or she is a creation of the divine, and you hate people based on their religion and ethnicity.

We support freedom and liberty and justice, and you promote bigotry, murder and strangulation.

You will never be able to find a sympathetic voice amidst us. Our differences with others will never lead us to do things that are fundamentally wrong in our faith, i. e. taking the lives of innocent people and killing others because they are different.

So on Sept. 11, when you will be hiding in your caves, we will be out in the streets paying tribute to those who you killed because you failed to see the beauty of life. We will condemn you once again the same way we have been doing ever since 9/11 because we are Muslim Americans.

That sort of unequivocal siding with civilisation is what gives me hope.

Big Brother is Listening to You

The European Union has invested £24 million to develop a system to plant cameras and microphones throughout a passenger aircraft's cabin so that a computer can continuously monitor conversations and general passenger behaviour.

This attitude toward air passengers is not only vile, it is the starkest example of why we must stop regarding the Islamofascist threat as a law enforcement problem, scrap the PC idiocy that treats everyone as a potentional terrorist and take the war to the Jihadists and their sponsors. If we make our airliners into what are essentially prison ships, we will soon see the age of air travel come to a close for all save those who can afford to flit about in Lear jets.

Dancing.. of the FUTURE!

The future according to General Motors.

Surprisingly, it involves motor cars.

Apostasy? What Apostasy?

According to this story in the Times, being a Christian is no longer a requirement for being an Anglican priest:

A priest with the Church of England who converted to Hinduism has been allowed to continue to officiate as a cleric.

The Rev David Hart’s diocese renewed his licence this summer even though he had moved to India, changed his name to Ananda and daily blesses a congregation of Hindus with fire previously offered up to Nagar, the snake god. He also “recites Gayatri Mantram with the same devotion with which he celebrates the Eucharist”, according to The Hindu, India’s national newspaper.

Turn off the lights, lads.

Bang Goes Another Regeneration

It looks as if the new series of Doctor Who is becoming a victim of its own success.

We Aren't Terrorists... Yet

Muhammad Abdul Bari, the secretary-general of the Muslim Council of Britain, gave an interview to the Telegraph that illustrates precisely what is wrong with so-called moderate "leaders" in the Muslim "community" (emphasise added).

There are a few bad apples in the Muslim community who are doing terrible acts and we want to root them out, but some police officers and sections of the media are demonising Muslims, treating them as if they're all terrorists --— and that encourages other people to do the same.

If that demonisation continues, then Britain will have to deal with two million Muslim terrorists --— 700,000 of them in London. If you attack a whole community, it becomes despondent and aggressive.

Translation: Lay off or we'll make 7/7 look like a cakewalk.

To quote Slartibartfast, it's a sort of threat, you see.

From the Ministry of Gnomes

Before you put a gnome in your garden, be sure to clear it with the thoughtpolice.