When Worlds Collide

British Sausage Week and National Vegan Week occur at the same time this year.

Pity it isn't at the same place. It could be as much fun as the time I served up barbecued spare ribs to a couple of vegans as a thank you for the lentil salad and self-righteousness they'd thrust upon me previously.

Lifting the Veil

Remember that Muslim school teacher who was suspended because she insisted on teaching her class in a veil? It turns out that it wasn't her idea, but that she was following a fatwa from her local imam.

I haven't commented on it much because I was waiting for this little tidbit to surface, as I knew it would. As with the previous episode involving a girl who wanted to ditch her school uniform in favour of a burqa, this one revealed that the woman wanting to run around in a tent was really carrying out the demands of a third party-- usually her brothers or some cleric or both who were seeking a wedge to introduce sharia law into Britain.

You'd think they'd learn about Greeks bearing gifts by now.

Indiana Jones: Tenure Denied

I saw this one coming.

But Can You Fight Crime in It?

What is it with the Japanese and robot suits?

Muslims? What Muslims?

Good to see that the BBC is running true to form; an indepth article on the French intifada that never once uses the "M" word.

That's like covering the desrtuction of Pompeii and forgetting to mention the volcano.

Update: Yup. Just a bunch of unidentified "youths."

Not Surprising

Headline from the Daily Mail:

Britons 'could be microchipped like dogs in a decade'

Hands up, everyone who didn't see this one coming.

The Last Straw

As if things weren't bad enough, now there's a garlic shortage.

I tell you, it's more than flesh can bear!

The Equaliser

The only drawback that I can see about wearing a t-shirt with a built-in equaliser is the difficulty in keeping people from noticing that you're wearing a t-shirt with a built-in equaliser.

"Our" Boys and the Veil

Mark Byford, the deputy chief of the BBC said that the corporation is "not crammed full of soft liberals" and then went on to shoot himself squarely in the foot. According to the Telegraph:

He also said he was "proud" of the BBC's decision to include an interview with the Taliban in an item about the conflict in Afghanistan.

"Our job in journalism is to communicate to the audience effectively the information we are delivering to them," he said. "As far as the issue of dress is concerned, it must not get in the way of the audience being able to receive the information in a clear and effective manner."

Asked specifically about the issue of a Muslim newsreader wearing a veil, he said: "The key is, if it does not hamper our primary obligation to deliver the news and information to our viewers and listeners then we would be respectful of that.

Translation: We're not a bunch of lefties, but we are happy to transmit Taleban propaganda and you can expect to see masked newsreaders as soon as we can get away with it.

The words "own goal" spring lightly to mind.

Travelling with "Our" Boys II

David Loyn, the BBC "journalist" who was embedded with the Taleban, did a Q&A on the BBC web site where he answered a load of cherry-picked questions that allowed him to further depict the Taleban as a load of clean-cut, simple-living nationalists who "admit some mistakes were made" under their rule and to claim that even though he has no "crystal ball" NATO has no hope of winning the war.

My favourite bit of puff is this one:

Since the Taleban forces are employed fighting and killing British troops, I am at a loss to understand why the BBC feels that it is using our licence fees well by giving their propaganda oxygen? If you were killed during an attack by Nato, who would accept responsibility for your death? Paul Jewell, Ivinghoe, Buckinghamshire

I took an assessment of the risks, well aware of the possibility you talk about. The BBC would not have blamed Nato forces for my death in these circumstances. Like Churchill I rather think jaw-jaw is better than war-war, and feel that my job as a reporter is to explain best what is going on. Indeed in a democracy I have not just a right but a duty to do this as comprehensively as possible. 'Our licence fees' did indeed support what was actually rather a cheap trip by the standards of these things (I was both the cameraman and reporter). But on a separate point, 'our taxes' are paying for 'our soldiers' to fight a difficult conflict, and I rather wanted to know what they are up against and why. Don't you, Paul?

I think that's a nasty little bit of condescension at the end. Don't you, David? But on a separate point, "our taxes" are being used to kill Taleban while you are using "our licence fees" to help the Taleban. Aside from the sheer brass of comparing himself to Churchill or that there is an ocean of difference between "explaining what is going on" and carrying the enemy's water for them, Mr. Loyn sidesteps the burning question about all of this: Why is he actively engaged in helping spread propaganda for a load of evil men who are killing his own countrymen?

One of my greatest bits of distaste that I have in this war is that we very quickly lost the spirit of the early days when, at a press conference in Iraq, a reporter started to frame his question to a U S official by quoting a local terrorist he'd recently interviewed. The official interrupted the reporter and demanded to know if he'd turned the terrorist in. The reporter said no and the official dismissed the reporter by telling him that next time he should do so.

Moving Up

It looks as though French "youths" are getting tired of torching cars night after night.

Now they're going after buses.

Travelling with "Our" Boys

Having completely forgotten whose side they're supposed to be on, the BBC not only is willing to act as a conduit for enemy propaganda, it embeds reporters with the Taleban while they are fight British forces in Afghanistan.

Auntie has reached rock bottom and is starting to dig.

THIS is a Bomb

Forget Iran and North Korea, the real nuclear threat is... Australia.

Harold Ford, a handsome 36-year-old from Tennessee, has become one of the sensations of the mid-term elections in the US and a reason why Democrats are a good chance of winning back control of the US Congress for the first time in 12 years.

But if Mr. Ford, already a US congressman, wins his bid to become a more powerful senator, Australia had better watch out.

Because according to Mr. Ford, Australia has an interest in nuclear weapons and is part of the broader nuclear threat to the US.

I suspect that Mr. Ford needs to clear a few toys out his attic.

The Miracle of Great Yeovil

Semolina is falling from the skies!

Slip of the Lip

Brazilian President Luiz Inácio "Lula" da Silva says that he regrets that Fidel Castro did not democratise Cuba while "he was still alive."

Cubans say "Whaaa?!?"

Le Intifada

It's one year since the French Muslim youth intifada violence began.

Brace yourselves.

When the Bottom Falls Out of the World

It's like something out of a late-night sketch comedy: Poledancing for four-year olds.

Civilisation was nice while it lasted.

Women are Meat

From a sermon by Sheik Taj Din al-Hilaly, cheif Muslim cleric in Australia:

Those atheists, people of the book (Christians and Jews), where will they end up? In Surfers Paradise? On the Gold Coast? Where will they end up? In hell and not part-time, for eternity. They are the worst in God’s creation.

When it comes to adultery, it’s 90 percent the woman’s responsibility. Why? Because a woman owns the weapon of seduction. It’s she who takes off her clothes, shortens them, flirts, puts on make-up and powder and takes to the streets, God protect us, dallying. It’s she who shortens, raises and lowers. Then, it’s a look, a smile, a conversation, a greeting, a talk, a date, a meeting, a crime, then Long Bay jail. Then you get a judge, who has no mercy, and he gives you 65 years.

But when it comes to this disaster, who started it? In his literature, writer al-Rafee says, if I came across a rape crime, I would discipline the man and order that the woman be jailed for life. Why would you do this, Rafee? He said because if she had not left the meat uncovered, the cat wouldn’t have snatched it.

If you get a kilo of meat, and you don’t put it in the fridge or in the pot or in the kitchen but you leave it on a plate in the backyard, and then you have a fight with the neighbour because his cats eat the meat, you’re crazy. Isn’t this true?

If you take uncovered meat and put it on the street, on the pavement, in a garden, in a park, or in the backyard, without a cover and the cats eat it, then whose fault will it be, the cats, or the uncovered meat’s? The uncovered meat is the disaster. If the meat was covered the cats wouldn’t roam around it. If the meat is inside the fridge, they won’t get it.

If the woman is in her boudoir, in her house and if she’s wearing the veil and if she shows modesty, disasters don’t happen.

Satan sees women as half his soldiers. You’re my messenger in necessity, Satan tells women you‘re my weapon to bring down any stubborn man. There are men that I fail with. But you’re the best of my weapons.

…The woman was behind Satan playing a role when she disobeyed God and went out all dolled up and unveiled and made of herself palatable food that rakes and perverts would race for. She was the reason behind this sin taking place.

This doesn't need comment. Just a trip to the compost heap.

Poster Girl

Most people have heard of the Dixie Chicks and how they got their knickers in a twist when their albums and concert tickets stopped selling because of their anti-war outbursts, but not nearly as many people have heard of Australian country singer Beccy Cole, who has been having trouble with her fans because of her patriotism and support for Australia's troops in the Middle East.

This is a pity, as her response shows that her feather of dignity has more weight than the Dixie Chicks' boulder of martyrdom.

Victory Gin

Fancy going out for a pint?

Yes, please.

Fancy getting fingerprinted at the pub?

No, thank you.

Too bad.

Taren Capel, Call Your Service

Not content with robonursemaids for the elderly and animae girls with huge eyes, the Japanese are now developing robonannies to ensure that they get those childhood traumas in early.

Pigeon-Eating Pelican

Ah, the joys of London wildlife!

All the world seems in tune
On a spring afternoon,
When we're eating pigeons in the park.
Ev'ry Sunday you'll see
My sweetheart and me,
As we're eating the pigeons in the park.

After Tom Leherer

Robespierre, Call Your Service

New Atheism: Priests in lab coats of the new Church Militant?

I rarely get involved in discussions about the existence of God. Since I'm a Christian, I've obviously had that question answered to my satisfaction or I wouldn't be pondering the Resurrection, and dealing with arguments about whether there really is a God is like being sent back to first year chemistry class after getting an advanced degree in the practical application of polymers. Besides, the hyper-rationalist posturing and arrogance crossed with remarkably poor reasoning and historical ignorance of some atheists (especially in those who wish to see their faith become the state religion) is rather off-putting at the best of times.

But I must admit that it's interesting to see the vehemence with which atheists espouse their religion. Frankly, I'd have more respect for them if they'd stop defining themselves by how much they don't believe in something (that something being invariably Christianity) and maybe start having a go at a faith less inclined to turn the other cheek, such as Islam.

Now that would be worth the price of admission.

Dhmmitude at UPI

UPI headline:

Prayer leader in Belgium condemns western attacks on Prophet (PBUH)

PBUH stands for "peace be unto him" and is required of Muslims to be inserted after every reference to Mohammed. It is not, however required of anyone else, though UPI uses PBUH not only in the headline, but throughout the story.

UPI: Utterly Prone Invertebrates.

VDH's Top Ten

Victor Davis Hanson on the Arab mindset:

1. We will pump oil at $3 and must sell it over $50— and still blame you for stealing our natural treasure
2. We will damn your culture and politics, but expect our own to immigrate in the thousands to your shores; upon arrival any attempt to integrate Muslim immigrants into Western pluralistic society will be seen as Islamaphobic
3. Send us your material goods, whether machine tools, I-pods, or antibiotics. We desperately want them, but will neither make the necessary changes in our own statist, authoritarian, religiously intolerant, tribal, and patriarchal culture to allow us to produce them ourselves, nor will show any appreciation for the genius of others who can do what we cannot
4. We ostensibly wish you to stop the killing of Muslims by ourselves and others—Milosevic murdering Kosovars, Saddam destroying Kuwaitis, Kurds, and Shiites, Russians killing Afghans and Chechnyans—but should you concretely attempt to do so, we will immediately consider your intervention far worse than the mayhem caused by others or ourselves.
5. Any indigenous failure in the Arab Middle East will eventually be blamed on the United States or Israel
6. Your own sense of multiculturalism must serve as an apology for our own violent pathologies, that can only be seen as different from, never worse than, your own culture.
7. We must at all times talk of anti-Americanism and why we want you out of the Middle East; you must never become anti-Arab or anti-Muslim, much less close your borders to our immigrants and students.
8. We will tolerate and often defend those who burn churches, ethnically cleanse Jews from our cities, behead priests, kill nuns, and shoot infidels as the necessary, if sometimes regrettable, efforts of our more zealous to defend Islam. But if any free spirit in the West satirizes Islam, we will immediately demand that Western governments condemn such blasphemy—or else!
9. Material aid—billions to Egypt, Jordan, Iraq, or the Palestinians—is our entitlement. Any attempt to curtail it is seen as an assault on the Arab nation
10. We are deathly afraid of nuclear Russia, China, and India who have little tolerance for either Islamism or terrorism, and so will ignore their felonies, while killing you for your misdemeanors.

The Fools Thought Me Mad!

The single most bizarre story you will read today... This month... This year.

Priceless

This speaks for itself.

Via Stephen Pollard.

Anoffa Naow

At the bloomin' ffird stroke, the nickle and dime will be ten twenty two and firty seconds.

The speaking clock will receive a new voice after twenty one years. However, unlike in the past, where the person was chosen after a careful search for someone with perfect diction and a clear RADA accent, the new voice of the speaking clock will be chosen by contest and will be open to anyone.

I really hope this is one of those one-week-only charity things like they did back in 2003, otherwise another bulb will have gone out in the illuminated sign of British civilisation. Imagine calling up to find out the time and being greeted by some weak, nasal, reedy voice bleating out the hours and minutes in some impenetrable London accent.

It's enough to put one's teeth on edge.

Spirit of Dark & Lonely Water

Having a good Monday? This will put a stop to that. It's a public safety short from 1973 called "Spirit of Dark and Lonely Water" that was so creepy that after I wouldn't go near a damp sponge, let alone swimming-- and I was fifteen when it came out.

Test

From the BBC:

North Korea will not carry out a second nuclear test unless "harassed" by the US.

"Harassed" is defined as telling North Korea not to carry out a second test.

BBC in the Light

Is the BBC a left-biased corporation dominated by young people, homosexuals and ethnic minorities and so worshiping at the alter of multiculturalism that they would literally bin the Bible, but spare the Koran for fear of offending Muslims?

Is the Pope Catholic?

Welcome to the Panopticon

Britain has more cameras per capita spying on the populace than any other nation on Earth, so what comes next?

More cameras!

Manchester Dhimmitude

In the name of "sensitivity," Manchester police have ordered detectives not to arrest Muslims during Ramadan.

At least now we know who's in charge in Manchester. Welcome to the umma.

French Intifada Update

Remember those French Muslim youth riots that ended last year? Sorry, I should have said started last year and since Ramadan started have got even worse.

The figures are stark. An average of 112 cars a day have been torched across France so far this year and there have been 15 attacks a day on police and emergency services. Nearly 3,000 police officers have been injured in clashes this year. Officers have been badly injured in four ambushes in the Paris outskirts since September. Some police talk of open war with youths who are bent on more than vandalism.

"The thing that has changed over the past month is that they now want to kill us," said Bruno Beschizza, the leader of Synergie, a union to which 40 per cent of officers belong. Action Police, a hardline union, said: "We are in a civil war, orchestrated by radical Islamists."

Civil war is an exaggeration-- for now.

In Vindaloo Veritas

From Metro.co.uk:

Almost a third of young men admit buying spicy dishes they don't like just to impress their mates, according to a a new poll.

Ah, but they eat it anyway. That's the spirit.

Most people, especially in American, think that English cooking is bland-- which is surprising, given the our penchant for powerful mustards and fresh-grated horseradish. In fact, firey curries are an innovation of the British Raj; the native Indian curries being found a bit on the bland side. More than once I've had to explain this to American friends, who pride themselves on wolfing down the strongest jalapeneo peppers, when we go out for an Indian meal in Seattle. American curries tend to be hopelessly mild and when I ask the waiter for a vindaloo so volcanic that the chef takes it as a challenge, my friends sit back waiting for the steam to come out of my ears only to end up watching me happily tucking in without a glance at the water jug.

True, I haven't more than two active taste buds left, but my sinuses are remarkably clear.

Jihad Cubed

According to Memri, some of the less hinged Muslims on the web are in a snit, claiming that the new Apple store on Fifth Avenue in New York City is an insult to Islam because it resembles the Ka'ba in Mecca. How so? Well, the Ka'ba is a big cube and the Apple store is... a big cube. I see. Right.

Next: Duodecahedrons and other blasphemous Platonic solids.

Al Qaeda Ressurection

Al Qaeda: Not as dead as we thought and they've got their sights on Britain.

I hope someone in authority is paying attention.

Meat Pie Mums

I always said that the Ministry of Plenty's new "healthy" school menus was nothing but a way to fill bins with uneaten and unwanted food. It seems that some mothers agreed and tried to strike a blow against the nanny state by filling the gap by passing contraband lunches through the schoolgate bars.

Chip butty, mmmmm!

Dine with Your Dog

For some unknown reason, today is Dine with Your Dog Day.

Given that I have spent several weeks teaching Carl the Cattle Dog that the dining table is a no go area where his existence isn't even acknowledged until after pudding, I'm filing this under Not Bloody Likely.

When Justice Defers to Fear

Via Little Green Footballs comes a story of a man in Aberporth, Wales, who was convicted of speech "likely to cause distress" for putting out a banner that read,

Kill all Muslims who threaten us and our way of life. Enoch Powell was right.

I'm a great advocate of free speech, but when any banner has the word "kill" in it, that makes it grounds for some pretty intense scrutiny and I rather suspect that the prosecution was right in calling this disorderly conduct because the gentlemen in question didn't qualify "Muslims." However, the chilling part of the case is this quote from the Tivy-Side Advertiser (emphasis added):

One of his neighbours, a retired Army officer with 23 years service, told the court he reported the matter to the police because he feared a visit from Muslim extremists.

In other words, it was not respect for the law but fear of the Jihadists who made him turn his neighbour in.

Final score: Jihad 1, Justice nil.

Seeing is Believing

An Anglo-American team at Duke University have developed the world's first invisibility cloak.

Though, obviously, you'll have to take their word for it.

World's Most Expensive Gesture

Las Vegas hotelier Steve Wynn entered the history books when he pointed out a detail on his prized possession: Picasso's Le Reve and, in the art world's most costly blunder, stuck his elbow through the canvas and queered what would have been a record sale of the painting for $139 million.

Instead, he's holding on to the work and would like to know if anyone has some glue and a bit of sticky tape.

Daily Star Dhimmitude

At the insistence of the National Union of Journalists, the Daily Star has binned a satirical feature page showing what the paper would look like under sharia law. The reason?

(A) very serious risk of violent and dangerous reprisals from religious fanatics who may take offence at these articles.

What does the Daily Star and my dog have in common? They both lack a pair of standard masculine equipment.

Sleuthbot

From the Australian National University and Questacon comes this nosy robot that leaves you nowhere to hide. It can not only track you down, but it can pick you out in a crowd. And if you complain, it's ready with a smartass answer.

My wife has one on order.

Small Achievement

Yen-Wen Lu and Chang-Jin "CJ" Kim of UCLA's Mechanical and Aerospace Engineering Department have created the world's smallest robot hand.

They needed it to play the famous world's smallest violin.

Hate Has a Long Memory

Remember Abdul Rahman? The Afghan convert to Christianity from Islam who faced the death penalty for apostasy and now lives in Italy? The Taliban haven't. They've kidnapped an Italian photojournalist and demand a swap for Rahman so they can kill him.

One man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter. What utter rubbish.

Tagged Out

Willett Elementary School in Boston, Massachusetts, has banned "tag" because it's too dangerous.

They're still working on how to ban stiff breezes from blowing across the playground.

Future Man

Last week, the New Scientist looked a world without man. This week, Dr Oliver Curry, of the Darwin@LSE research centre at the London School of Economics looks at what man will be like if he manages to remain on Earth. According to Dr. Curry, by the year 3000 the average man will be a 6 ft 6 in giant with brown skin and features tuned perfectly to attract the opposite sex. Of course, by year 10,000 it all goes to Hell as man starts to resemble a large-domed Woody Allen and by 100,000 AD the Morlocks start showing up.

Mind you,this sort of thing changes with the fashions as much as hem lines and tie widths, as we can see here.

Personally, I'm still with G. K. Chesterton on this one.

Living in Their Own Little World

North Korea may or may not have a functioning nuclear weapon, but in their own minds they've already got H-bombs and will use them if President Bush moves to impose sanctions on the Communist state. According to unofficial NK spokesman Kim Myong-chol, director of the Center for Korean-American Peace, a Japan-based pro-North Korean research agency,