Global Cooling

Hoping to breathe new life into the scaremongering game, the Russian Academy of Sciences is predicting a new ice age is imminent.

Global warming is so 20th century.

What Could Go Wrong?

How to handle Russia's chronic alcoholism? Introduce "People's Vodka" for the masses.

Note to the Kremlin: The idea is to reduce the drinking.

Apologise for Everything

Tony Blair's expression of "sorrow" over Britain's role in the slave trade has been put into perspective by Sir Peter Tapsel MP (Con), who demanded that the Mr. Blair apologise for King Henry VIII's "disgraceful treatment of his wives".

Stand by for calls to establish a Ministry For Apologising For Everything that Anyone in Britain Has Done Anywhere, Anytime.

Snow Day III

There's still ten degrees of frost outside, the roads have nearly an inch of ice on them and the weather forecast is for another snow storm this afternoon, but I have business in town that I can't put off any longer, so I'll have to make a go of it.

In the words of the immortal Captain Oates, "I am just going outside and may be some time."

Happy Birthday?

It's Fidel Castro's 80th birthday, but the Maximum Leader is too dead ill to attend his own party.

Fourth Estate, Fifth Column

What the reality on the ground is in Iraq is one thing, but as far as the MSM in the United States is concerned, the war is lost. In a moment worthy of Walter Cronkite shafting his own country by calling the American victory in the Tet Offensive in 1968 proof of Communist invincibility, NBC, based on swallowing enemy propaganda whole, decides that the Iraq Campaign is now "civil war" and CBS declares that the only option for the Coalition is to "manage defeat."

That grinding sound you hear is Ernie Pyle spinning in his grave.

Santa's Tardis

The Daleks may never succeed in taking over the universe, but it looks as though Doctor Who is ready to conquer Christmas.

With Friends Like These...

Our "ally" Pakistan is telling NATO to surrender to the Taleban.

To quote General Count Etienne Cambronne when called upon to lay down his arms at the Battle of Waterloo, "merde."

Splitting the Law

There is an astonishing parallel in the news today with legal scholars cheerfully cooing over how multiculturalism is generating parallel legal systems in Britain-- even going so far as saying (emphasis added),

Some academic lawyers see these alternative legal systems as an inevitable - and welcome - consequence of multiculturalism.

Meanwhile, events on the other side of channel make one wonder is "welcome" is quite the word, as there are now 751 no-go areas in France that the police have effectively given over to the Jihadists.

What is frightening about all of this is that as an archaeologist I've seen exactly this sort of thing before with the Saxon invasion of Britain in the 5th century AD. At first, the Saxons came as settlers who caused little trouble aside from the odd pirate raid, but eventually as their numbers swelled they became less and less deferential toward their hosts and before the native Britons knew what they were about, the "immigrants" revealed themselves as invaders who plunged the land into decades of bloody warfare.

What is old is new, I suppose.

Update: The Telegraph reports that Faizul Aqtab Siddiqi, a barrister and principal of Hijaz College Islamic University, near Nuneaton, Warwicks predicts "that there would be a formal network of Muslim courts within a decade."

Translation: By 2016, sharia will be the firmly established in Britain.

Snow Day II

Snowed in for a second day. We got another couple of inches of powder with temperatures in the teens and the road looking like a toboggan run-- which is what we used it for this morning.

On down side, we have run out of Chardonnay and are desperately on the lookout for any passing St. Bernards.

Cinema Parables

Four Jills in a Jeep

If Not Now, When? If Not Here, Where?

Britain and France had to choose between war and dishonour. They chose dishonour. They will have war.

Sir Winston Churchill on the Munich accords (1938)

Victor Davis Hanson on the Jihadist War:

All that said, the West is encountering something novel, as it fights its first politically-correct war, in which all the postmodern chickens of the 1980s and 1990s have come home to roost. Thus multiculturalism makes it hard to fight non-Europeans from the former third world, inasmuch as it argued there was not just little distinctively good about the West, but rather the once recognized universal sins of mankind—racism, sexism, class oppression, inequality, patriarchy—were to be seen as exclusively Western.

If you have taught youth for generations that the story of World War II is Hiroshima and the Japanese internment, not Normandy, the Bulge, Iwo Jima, and Okinawa, then how can you expect a nation to fight an enemy without making a mistake? And if dropping the bomb on Japan to stop its daily murdering of thousands in its collapsing empire, and to avoid something that would have made the horrific Battle for Berlin look like a cakewalk is equated with the Holocaust, how can the United States marshal the moral authority to press ahead, secure that its killing of jihadists is a different sort from jihadists killing the innocent or each other?

Add into this dangerous modernist soup moral equivalence, or what we know as “conflict resolution theory.” It postulates that any use of force de facto is equivalent to any other. We see those ripples with this Orwellian notion of “proportionality”, that a democratic Israel must calibrate its response to missiles aimed entirely at its civilians by ensuring none of its own aimed at Hezbollah terrorists and their supporters miss.

Then there is moral relativism and utopian pacifism. The latter is the idea that we have finally reached a sort of end of history, where our maturity and education and bounty have changed the rules of the game, relegating war to the Neanderthals. Relativism is even more pernicious because it is anti-empirical and suspends all moral judgment: Islam is just one of many religions given to excess, not at the heart of the vast majority of killing and fighting now going on in the world at this very hour, from Iraq and Afghanistan to Chechnya to Darfur to the West Bank to Lebanon to the Philippines to Indonesia to India and on and on. A Timothy McVeigh is not much different from an Osama bin Laden; forget the former was solitary and exceptional, the latter with millions of sympathizers and emblematic of an entire global movement. Both by their resort to terror were, presto, relatively the same.

So it is going to be hard, but not impossible, to win this war. Why,then, as readers have complained, my dogged optimism?

For two reasons. One, all these nostrums are theoretical, and anti-empirical. Ultimately as lies, they will be disapproved by the evidence before them. A progressive can call the ACLU all day long, but after 9/11 if he stands in line at an airport gate listening to an imam chanting Allah Akbar as he and his friends board, our liberal friend will begin to worry. And second, our enemies have no intention of relenting. They smell blood and want our carcass, so eventually even the progressive mind will give up the pieties of peace and face the inevitable.

I largely agree with VDH on this, but the key word in all this is "when." The longer it takes for the Left to wake up to the Jihadist threat, the harder it will be to defeat our enemies, the more expensive and bloodier will be our victory, and the larger will be the number of innocents who will suffer. When Hitler rattled his sabre over the Rheinland he could have been crushed by a stern look, but the civilised nations opted for appeasement and got the most destructive war in history as their reward.

Junking Junk

Is the war against "junk" food mere snobbery?

Snow Day

After last night's snow, the local roads were in their typical winter condition here; utterly screwed up. Therefore, it's an unexpected day off at Chez Szondy that started off swimmingly with a snow angel contest and family snowball fight that was notable for Emma's remarkable talent for launching her mitten as well as the snowball.

Carl the Cattle Dog behaved himself and stayed in the yard chasing his tennis ball-- until it was time to go in for breakfast. Then he got it in his little canine head to run off into the woods behind the house, which he knows are off limits, in search of squirrels, other dogs to play with, and unicorns for all I know. This, of course, now means that the neighbours all think I'm mad as a March hare because everyone within a half-mile radius must have heard me crashing through the snow-covered underbrush, rotting timber, brambles and then three other people's gardens like some on-foot steeplechaser while shouting commands, oaths and threats at the dog with increasing anger as we pressed further and further into unexplored territory.

If I didn't know better, I'd suspect that this was revenge for making him take a bath yesterday.

After finally catching Carl and hauling him back by the scruff of the neck, he then spent the next hour hiding under the bed before emerging to do some major sucking up to Daddy.

And it is starting to snow again.

Ever Vigilant

It's snowing heavily at Chez Szondy and Carl the Cattle Dog, who has never seen snow, is staring and growling at it out the window, convinced that it's all part of a squirrel plot.

I'm not entirely sure that he's wrong.

Wrong End of the Telescope

In a classic example of how the West is it's own worst enemy, Tony Blair has expressed "sorrow" at Britain's part in the slave trade, but the BBC notes that he fell short of offering an apology that the BBC some commentators wanted.

In a saner world, Blair would have never have considered particular sorrow at what was once a universal evil and would have literally snorted at the very idea of an apology, preferring to say that he was proud of how Britain lead the fight in abolishing the slave trade throughout the world and would do its best to combat its resurgence-- especially in places like the Sudan and Saudi Arabia.

I am not, however, holding my breath.

Red Nostalgia

The BBC does a From Our Own Correspondent feature on Latvia and the only thing that the Beeb and correspondent Laura Sheeter can find of interest about the country from the front page blurb on is that it's a "former Soviet republic."

That loud ringing noise you're hearing is the clue phone. For some people in the MSM, the collapse of the the Soviet Union is still a melancholy memory, but even the Latvians are getting fed up with this pining for the good old days era of Communist oppression with one commenting,

Why do you refer to us as former Soviet Latvia? It's not who we are any more.

In case anyone hasn't noticed, the USSR was a vile, expansionist police state that died fifteen years ago and good riddance. It's about time for "journalists" to either get over it or start habitually referring to all erstwhile parts of the Empire as "the former British colony" regardless of context.

Shaken, Not Stirred

The new James Bond Film, Casino Royale, (which I've not seen yet, sad to say) has done more than just revitalise the series, it's also saved the legendary Vesper cocktail from fading like a two-day old hangover and has caused the maker of Lillet, a vital ingredient, to be inundated with enquiries.

As a die-hard Bond fan since the age of nine, I know the Vesper well and it was one of my signature drinks during the days when I could afford to stock the bar with something other than bargain-basement Chardonnay and the occasional six-pack of Guinness. It's not a bad little tipple. The Vesper is so strong that it's a bit like drinking lighter fluid, but it's damned impressive-- especially when you plonk it down in front of your guest while saying casually, "You probably couldn't find ten non-squeal killers in France."

The Vesper

• Three measures of Gordon's gin
• One measure of vodka
• Half a measure of Lillet

Shake together until ice-cold. Serve in a deep champagne goblet with a large, thin slice of lemon peel.

Happy Thanksgiving From Ephemeral Isle

In Britain we have Guy Fawkes Day. The American equivalent is Thanksgiving, where a whole turkey is immersed in a deep-fat fryer, which then overflows in a pyrotechnic spectacle that induces severe tics in insurance company executives.

Anyway, I'm off for some quality family time and cranberry sauce. Back on Saturday, but in the meantime, here's a bit of Thanksgiving history.

The Inevitable

Having placed surveillance cameras at every conceivable location, the government is now mounting them on policemen's helmets.

I'm not kidding.

Keep HP Sauce British!

There's an east wind coming all the same, such a wind as never blew on England yet. It will be cold and bitter, Watson and a good many of us may wither before its blast. But it's God's own wind none the less, and a cleaner, better, stronger land will lie in the sunshine when the storm has cleared.

Sherlock Holmes

Sign the petition. It's time to stand up and be counted!

Going Nuclear

It turns out that the ex-KGB colonel who was nearly assassinated in London wasn't just poisoned with thallium, but with what may be radioactive thallium.

That's like tearing off a man's head and spitting down his neck. I suspect that he must have really cheesed off the wrong people back home.

Update: It was Polonium 210. Not exactly the sort of thing that you find just lying around the potting shed.

Childhood is Now a Crime

In a final push to wipe any vestiges of liberty from the British Isles, the government is planning to remove all rights of parents to their own children in favour of a massive database of the intimate details every child's life, a horde of "super nannies" and like busybodies who will descend en mass at the first whiff of unorthodox behaviour right down to not eating enough vegetables and profiling "babies (?!?) and children who may become a 'menace' or a cost to society in later life."

Ah, childhood! A time of innocence, discovery and being treated like a violent criminal on parole.

Have You Seen This Man?

Having solved all other crimes, police are looking for a gentleman who fits this identikit description in connection with the so-called "Jack the Ripper" Whitechapel murders committed recently-- assuming that "recently" extends back to 1888.

The suspect is described as being between 5 ft 5 ins and 5 ft 7 ins, of stocky build and about 148 years of age. The public are advised to exercise extreme caution in the vicinity of cat food shops, bingo parlours, Zimmer frame suppliers and Depends outlets.

Royal Pain

Ségolène Royal, the Socialist candidate for the French presidency, has told Britain that they must choose between America and Europe. It's an interesting choice and I sincerely hope that if Madam Royal wins she will give Whitehall so blunt an ultimatum that we can at last give the EU the finger-- especially in the light of her vision of the alternative:

Europe can be relaunched with Germany, Italy and Spain.

Yes, the the Continent lead by three formerly Fascist states with France trailing behind and Britain refusing to surrender. It's 1940 all over again!

Helm Aweather

Things are getting a bit niffy aboard the Type 42 frigate HMS Southampton. Her distillation apparatus has been on the fritz recently, resulting in showers for the crew being a bit less frequent than one would like.

Passing yachtsmen are adviced to keep to windward.

Excuse Me, Can You Break A Carrot?

Argentina is suffering a coin shortage so severe that shopkeepers are resorting to carrots and pasta to make change.

In other news, half the parking meters in Buenos Aires are jammed with spaghetti.

Your Tax Dollars at Work

Powys County Council has leapt into action after discovering that Welsh Dragon Sausages do not, in fact, contain any dragon whatsoever.

In other news, there are no dogs in hot dogs.

Burka Ban & Galloping Dhimmitude

The Dutch have finally thrown down the gauntlet to the Jihadists by taking the long overdue step of banning the burka.

Meanwhile, so-called "journalists" are not only submitting to dhimmitude, they are actively enforcing it, as this incident shows (emphasis added):

Something similar happened at this year’s Hay-on-Wye festival, sponsored by the Guardian, where a five-person panel discussed “Are there are any limits to free speech?” One of the Muslim panelists said if anyone offended his religion, he would strike him. A lawyer, Anthony Julius, responded that Jews had lived as minorities under two powerful hegemonies, Christian and Muslim, and had been obliged to learn how to deal nonviolently with offense caused to them by the sacred scriptures of both. He started by referring to an anti-Semitic passage in the New Testament — which passed without comment. But when he began to list the passages in the Koran that denigrate Jews, describing them as monkeys and pigs, the panelists went ballistic. One of them, Madeline Bunting of the Guardian, put her hand over the microphone and said words to the effect, “I am not going to sit here and listen to any criticisms of Muslims.” She was cheered, and not one of the journalists in the audience from right or left uttered a word about free speech — not hate speech, mind you, but free speech of a moderate nature.

This is going to be a long war.

Leave It to Roll-Oh

Robotics crica 1940.

You can laugh, but who's answering your door, smarty?

Big Brother is Watching What You Eat

There's no pleasure on earth that's worth sacrificing for the sake of an extra five years in the geriatric ward of the Sunset Old People's Home, Weston-Super-Mare.

Horace Rumpole

Minitrue Ofcom has announced that it is going to ban advertising of foods that the Party disapproves of "junk foods." The ban includes:

• All pre-school children's programmes
• All programmes on mainstream channels aimed at children
• All cable and satellite children's channels
• Programmes aimed at young people, such as music shows
• General entertainment programmes which would appeal to a "higher than average" number of under-16s.

I said that when they started going after smokers that the same rationale would soon be extended to anything else the government wanted to ban as well. Stand by for mandatory health warnings, heavy taxation on anything edible and the pathetic sight of freeborn Englishmen forced to stand out in the rain to eat their contraband beefburgers.

Ah, well. At least they've increased the choco ration. Or so they say.

Update: Spain is ahead of the curve.

Bacon Butty

The BBC reports on the best bacon sandwich in Britain.

At last, a look at the serious issues of the day.

Big Brother is Drawing a Bead on You

Samsung's robosentry. Or, as it's known in Britain, CCTV Camera Mark II.

Sign of the Times

A watch with a built-in Geiger counter.

The frightening thing is that I really want one.

Flood Update

The waters are finally receding and most of the valley is back, but there's rain forecast for the rest of this week, so the local farmers are holding on to their supply of livestock waterwings.

Alien Rain

According to a some more outre scientists, germs from outer space are raining down upon us from the cosmos and there's nothing we can do about it.

Great. I'm already spending a fortune on this lavatory paper that I spread all over the floor and now this!

The Ant & the Grasshopper & New Labour

A modern go-ahead fable.

Strange Bedfellows

Christians in Britain get some help in defending Christmas from an unexpected quarter: Muslims.

Brave New World

Mark Steyn on Europe 2026:

Well, my view of Europe in 20 years' time is that you'll be switching on the TV, you'll be looking at scenes of burning and conflagration and riots in the street. You will have a couple of countries that are maybe in civil war, at least on the brink of it.

You will have neofascists' resurgence in some countries and you'll have other countries that have just been painlessly euthanized in which a Muslim political class has effectively got its way without a shot being fired -- and large numbers of people, particularly young people, have left those countries and have moved on to whoever will take them.

Ikea in Space

Sweden's first astronaut, Christer Fuglesang, has been tasked with rewiring the International Space Station.

Nasa is optimistic, though they do admit that Mr. Fuglesang is at something of a disadvantage, as the station did not come as a flat pack and the only tool Mr. Fuglesang knows how to use is an Allen key.

Castro on Ice

The US government believes that Castro's health is deteriorating, which mean that he's gone from dead to really dead.

Holiday News

Fares to the International Space Station have risen to $21 million.

Looks like I'll have to take the shuttle to the spaceport instead of a cab.

Quote of the Day

Stop asking what you have done wrong. Stop it! They're slaughtering you like sheep and you still look within. You criticize your history, your institutions, your churches. Why can't you realize that it has nothing to do with what you have done but with what they want.

Dr. Tawfik Hamid on the the West's pointless self-flagellation in the face of the Jihadists.

Know Thy Enemy

Britain is in danger of "attack at any time."

From whom? Jihadists? North Korea?

No, space aliens-- at least, according to Nick Pope, formerly of the MoD UFO project, who clearly needs to have a little lie down.

Remembrance Day

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name' sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: For thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;
Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.

World's Worst Policedog