All of Them Almost, But Not Quite Unlike Tea

The Coca-Cola people are working on a soda machine that dispenses 100 different flavours.

As if I didn't have enough aggravation as it is.

GYM

The electric concept car that has exercise machines built in so you can make it go using muscle power.

Or you can just buy a push bike and be done with it.

The Bee

The Unicef Bee; making sure that in the face of the worst that Mother Nature can hurl at us, even the remote and devastated communities will have access to p0rn.

Practical Art

If you're going to build a solid gold statue of a supermodel, it's a lot easier on the budget to choose Kate Moss over Sophie Dahl.

Queen of Outer Space

Zsa Zsa Gabor's greatest performance.

Unfortunately.

And a Hook was Hanging on the Door!

EE Times headline:

Robot removes kidney

And the patient woke up the next morning in a bathtub full of ice.

Boxed Wine

In an attempt to prove that there is indeed one born every minute, the Hotel Byblos markets a box containing a bottle of Perrier-Jouët Belle Epoque 1999, four glasses, and a rather cheap looking set of jewelry. All yours for €100,000.

Why, why do I never run into people with that much money and that little sense?

Tada!

Oh, The Humanity!

Never mind oil prices; the rising demand for corn has produced a looming tequila shortage.

The Prime Minister calls for calm. UN in emergency session. Pope leads prayers for deliverance.

Teddy Bear USB Drive

Sick, sick, sick.

Droid on Droid Action

An unmanned USAF aircraft in Iraq destroyed a remote controlled Jiahdist vehicle laden with explosives.

Begun, the Robot Wars Have.

Christo, Call Your Service

How to fight the scourge of Earth-impacting asteroids? Wrap them in Bacofoil.

Then pop them in a medium oven for two hours and serve with butter, sour cream, chives, and crumbly bacon.

How Old is Your Dog?

By AJ Design Software

Pointless, but fun.

Peugeot 888

Showing that gull-wing doors don't have all the fun, we present the Peugeot 888 folding concept car; soon to be crashing painfully against carpark ceilings, garage beams and road signs everywhere.

Ziggurat City

Dubai showcases a design for a ziggurat capable of housing a million people.

Amateurs.

How to Build a Green Roof

Where I live, that basically involves a couple of wet winters and... That's about it, really.

The Shooter

A combination fire extinguisher and grenade launcher.

I don't know how effective this is, but the entertainment possibilities are endless.

328 mph & Diesel!

A British car has broken the diesel land-speed record with an astonishing 328 mph–and the team claiming that they could have done better, but the tyres wouldn't have held up.

I quite like the JCB livery on the car. It makes me feel that we're one step faster to the goal of the world's fastest backhoe.

Bat-Trauma

Save the Planet™; kill a bat.

Space Food

I love this headline from Discover magazine:

Just How Nasty Is Space Food?

Notice is isn't "Is it nasty?", but "How nasty".

The Wrong Door

It's happened to me a couple of times.

I'll Have The Penne Alla Arrabiata

Only from the halls of academe can you find this sort of inverted logic: Can't run your cafeteria properly? Are your clean up operations inefficient? Then show your contempt for the students by banning trays.

It's all their fault for not worshiping Blessed Gaia enough and they eat too much anyway.

Digital Stars

It had to happen sooner or later. Hollywood has developed a way to replace actors with digital avatars. I was a professional actor for five years and it was bad enough losing parts to blokes who had all the depth of a video game character. Now you get pipped by the "real" thing.

Question is, will they be represented by digital agents?

100 Ugliest Cars

The Telegraph looks at the 100 ugliest cars in history.

And the 1979 Aston Martin Bulldog only came in at 88. May God preserve us from No. 1.

Hug a Jihadist

The BBC's Lyse Doucet criticises news coverage of the Afghanistan campaign, saying that it overlooks "the humanity of the Taliban".

"The humanity of the Taliban"? I had to read that at least three times to make sure I hadn't misunderstood. No doubt that is true in the same way that Khmer Rouge's good points were misunderstood as well, but being totalitarian murderers bent on conquest, enslavement, and genocide will do that for you.

How this remarkably silly woman manages to navigate through life without the smallest fraction of common sense or moral judgment is beyond me.

13-in-1 Pen

For the gadget-obsessed, we present the biro that is also a 13-in-1 tool kit.

I'll admit that it's interesting and at $15 I'd probably get one at the first excuse, but it does bear a remarkable resemblance to a CIA escape kit from the Cold War.

You do not want to know where you were supposed to hide this.

Hot Pockets

Headline from The Consumerist:

Pepperoni Hot Pockets Recalled For Containing Plastic

How could they tell the difference?

Journey to the Seventh Planet

Ever wonder why we don't see more Danish science fiction films?

Wonder no more.

Caution: Contains John Agar

Triton 1000

If you have $1.69 million to spare you can buy the perfect gift for the hydroclaustrophobe in your life.

Wristwatch Scales

What train of thought led to someone concluding that this was a good idea is one of the great mysteries of our age.

Beer probably entered into it somewhere.

Mullahs in Space!

Iran announces that it intends to put a man in orbit within ten years.

First the Chinese and now this. What is it about repressive tyrannies that makes them want to spend incredible amounts of money with no hope of return for the honour of retreading ground covered by the superpowers half a century ago?

Next up: Zimbabwe pledges to discover the New World.

Starship Stumbles

Interstellar spaceflight in our lifetime? In anybody's?

The maths, as usual, is the killjoy.

iBasket

A combination hamper and washing machine that does your laundry automatically.

It may be a quantum leap in washing technology, but it is set to start when its load gets above a certain weight, so if your cat likes to snooze on your dirty shirts, this could end badly.

Ferrari Monza

Another entry in our "How the hell do you get into the bloody thing?" supercar concept competition.

Bacon Mistaken for Bomb

At least it's better than a bomb mistaken for bacon.

Mmm... Bacon.

LumiTops

And I thought those see-through blouses back in the '80s were bad.

If they figure out how to stream videos on these things, I'm leaving.

Meatbot

Fanuc Robotics America Inc.has developed a robot suitable for use in a meat-packing plant.

If Sarah Connor goes missing I'm definitely giving the pork pies a miss.

Major Boothroyd, Call Your Service

Only two things have kept me from buying an Aston Martin DBS. One is the fairly obvious and annoying fact that I'm a freelance writer and consequently as poor as a church mouse. The other is that until now there wasn't a stylish Swiss watch that would unlock the doors.

Probably just as well that point one still holds. With my luck I'd press the wrong button and fire the Stinger missiles.

Freewill: Yes or... Nevermind

I'm always fascinated by thinkers who assert that man is without freewill. It isn't that they hold such views that amuses me, but rather that if they really do believe such a thing, then why do they bother to tell anyone?

Now, if you will excuse me, I must go and explain to the chair that it is, in fact, a chair.

So Much For the Energy Crisis

Just how long will the world's uranium supply last? 50 years? 500?

Try 5 billion. That's "billion".

The Quatermass Xperiment

The Quatermass Xperiment 1955

Right. If this one goes through, then we're laughing.

Fingers crossed.

We're back

Okay. davidszondy.com is on a new server and we're up and running again.

The Deadly Mantis

Okay, maybe drilling in ANWAR wasn't such a good idea.

Brand New Key

If you're at a certain age you may recall this quantum of irritation from 1971.


Personally, I've always felt that this cover did far more justice to the song.

Puttbot

If O J Simpson can hunt for the real killer on the golf links, then Skynet can...