Mabel & colour telly

Tomorrow's World in 1966 looks at Mabel, the wonder robot of 1976 and the latest advance in colour television–sort of.

Sarah Connor reported unconcerned about cut-rate Dalek

Interlude

And now. let's all take a breather. We've earned it.

A matter of perspective

The BBC looks at "the world's longest suicide note" and concludes that, "See, it isn't so insane after all" instead of, "My God, have we gone so insane that we actually ended up implementing most of this drivel and added on a couple more levels of daftness for good measure?!?"

I particularly like this little gem:

(S)omebody calling for the government not to renew the Trident missile system, might not be viewed as a left-wing idealist.

True, "irresponsible, possibly pacifist, but more likely self-loathing Marxist nutcase who wants to work out his issues with his father by placing Britain at the mercy of her enemies" is more likely.

Doctor Who: Militant Tendency

Sylvester McCoy says that during his turn as Doctor Who the production crew filled the episodes with Leftist propaganda that would have made Militant Tendency proud. Not surprising with the likes of the script editor, who at his interview said,

I’d like to overthrow the government.

Their efforts included a story that was a thinly veiled call for Margaret Thatcher to be overthrown by a worker's revolt and an anti-nuclear speech delivered by the Doctor courtesy of CND.

The amazing thing about this story is that it claimed that nobody noticed at the time. If so, it can only because they didn't see the episodes, because I did at the time and being hit over the head with a clown hammer would have been more subtle.

The only thing sadder than Doctor Who limping toward its grave in the late '80s was watching it do so while squeaking pathetic Trotskyite tirades.

Pensiongate

They're coming so fast you can hardly keep up with them. Climategate, then Glaciergate, and even before I had a chance to comment on Africagate we have Pensiongate.

The "settled science" of global warming is leaking out through more gates than Rome.

The BBC discovers false consciousness

Why are Americans reacting to Obamaism like a Michelin Guide critic faced with a plate of Seven Eleven nachos? Is it because :

1. They spent three generations fighting Marxist regimes and have no desire to join one now.
2. They read the price tag on Mr Barack Hussein Obama's plans and would rather have freedom than lumber their grandchildren with crippling debt and a nascent police state.
3. They remember how Mr Tony Blair ended up with him re-elected time and again under the excuse that he needed more time only to leave behind a shattered union ruled over by a repellent one-eyed Scotsman and they've no desire for an American road tour.
4. They're too stupid to understand how oppressed they are or how Mr Obama will liberate them from the human condition and give them each a pony FOR FREE!

If you chose 4, congratulations. You just got a job with the BBC.

Freudian slip

A revealing headline from the BBC:

What does Massachusetts defeat mean for Obama?

Defeat? Depends on your point of view, Auntie.

The BBC: No white men need apply

Still "hideously white".

In a Telegraph interview with Michael Parkinson, we find this interesting little statement by a "senior BBC source" regarding Jonathan Ross's replacement:

We’re desperate for anyone that isn’t white and male. It’s difficult in entertainment because the options are so limited. Diversity is a big issue and they’ve over-relied on men for a long time.

When I read this sort of jaw-dropping bigotry, I think that the only way to handle the BBC is not with reform, but by frog marching everyone out of the building and starting from scratch.

And pigs fly

A bridge too far

Gordon Brown takes on Blue Peter and loses.

Choose you enemies carefully, Mr Brown. Choose them carefully

Adam Adamant Lives!

Yeah, this and The Prisoner pretty much set my self-image as a boy.

Pity how things work out.

Gander, meet sauce

The irony of this situation is marvelous. Ever since the rise of the infamously unfunny "New Comedy" and left-wing agitprop like "The Monocled Mutineer" and "House of Cards" the BBC has been run by a censorious culture that is so restrictive that only Enemies of the Party are regarded as fair game for jokes or even criticism. Now that the backlash over the excesses of Sachsgate, vicious prank calls, rigged phone polls, staggering on-air crudity, et al have imperiled the Beebs sacred licence fee, the corporation is putting survival above loyalty and is taking its blue pencil to its ideological brethren. This is provoking trendies such as dramatist Stephen Poliakoff to howl about the "'Kafkaesque' rule-obsessed BBC" that is still imposing the same old Newspeak rules, only this time Mr Poliakoff and his colleagues are on the receiving end of the BBC's nasty, authoritarian mindset.

So, Mr Poliakoff, how does tyranny feel when you're no longer the "licensed auteur" and lumped in with the Outer Party?

London to Brighton in Four Minutes

And now, an interlude before our next programme.

Max Warp

Classic Doctor Who meets Top Gear.

The writers do not like Jeremy Clarkson one little bit.

(Link expires within a week, so listen now)

"Top Gear team immortalised in Lego"

Excuse me, I've got a cinder in my eye.

James May in space

Nearly.

This is the sort of documentary I like; not a load of talking heads, generic music, and fake drama, but someone who loves his subject and has the ability to convey that love.

And yes, I hate his guts, the lucky bastard.

Bias? What bias?

Even if you are hand in glove with the Party, it's not a good idea to take orders from them on the air.

Homeopathic lager

Takes me back to my medical school days.

You don't say

BBC headline:

Great white sharks display ruthless hunting tactics

In other news, bunnys are soft and cuddly.

Gerald

Enough Trog. Now let's look at some serious anthropology.

The Antidote Returns

The baton is passed.

Living the part

In a bid for, of all things, realism, the BBC is making a meal of the fact that Eastenders has cast a disabled man to play a disabled character–presumably, one with the same disability. That's an important point, you see, otherwise things could get a bit sticky.

The Tuna of Wrath

A schoolgirl, who apparently has never had a proper job, decides to put Sinclair Lewis to shame and heads off to a tuna cannery in Indonesia where she discovers that it's, like, really hard work, man, and it's, you know, hot in there and it smells and everything and they even make you clip your nails. What's with that, yah?

And working in a rice paddy? That's, like, just no fun at all. All that standing in water and bending over? Yuk!

Naturally, this is all justified by some extremely public and easy hand-wringing about the low wages the workers are paid (the workers get £3 a day, which is pretty close to, if not above the country's per capita income), though no context as to what the alternative for them is or what impact this work has on their prosperity one way or the other . That's, surprise, too much like hard work.

As a man who spent most of his youth swinging a pick in the desert sun when he wasn't freezing on deck in the North Sea for sub-minimum wages and has spent enough time in the Third World to know the difference between exploitation and a hand up, all I can say is, Poor diddums and let's hope your fashion studies aren't too arduous.

Bias Served Cold

The BBC files its final report on the idiotic intrepid Catlin arctic expedition to measure the devastating effects of global warming on the polar ice cap. Not surprisingly, the Beeb gives a lot of space to warnings of warmed-up doom and the expeditions "valuable" data, though they do seem reluctant to dwell on little matters such as the measurements Catlin failed to complete being done faster and better by the Germans, who had the good sense to use an aeroplane; that their own support plane had to abandon caches of fuel drums on the ice due to freezing blizzards; that the same cold and wind left the explorers trapped in their tent huddled in wet sleeping bags and suffering from chronic hypothermia; or that their methods weren't exactly of the first water.

But never mind if the Arctic turned out to be like, well, the Arctic. It was all in the service of Blessed Gaia and that's all that counts.

Rendezvous With Rama Part II

The conclusion of Sir Arthur C. Clarke's Hugo winning adventure.

Morris Marina Moment

It could happen. I lost a couple of cars myself that way.

Rendezvous With Rama

Back From Holiday

Some people come back refreshed from a holiday. And then there's Hancock.

18-Wheeler Alpine Challenge

Lorrying at its finest.

Quatermass OBE

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Okay, not that afraid.

Blue Peter

Blue Peter, the BBC's flagship children's programme is suffering from record low ratings. I blame myself, as I've never watched an episode in my life when I was sober.

Be that as it may, EI salutes the world of sticky-back tape with this magic moment.

Mad Men

The BBC has an interesting piece on the series Mad Men and how it's sparking a renewed interest in early '60s fashion. Let's hope that this catches on, because one of my pet peeves about modern society is the death of the smart suit and tie. Not that I have any intention of wearing such a get up. In fact, I can't. I'm inherently one of those rumpled professor types who can and has worn bespoke evening dress and instead of having the neat, crisp lines of a would-be James Bond I looked like a retired archaeologist who's more at home in unpressed tweeds and a sweater vest–which I am.

No, what I need is everyone else going around looking like Cary Grant so as to throw my abesent-minded boffin look into sharp contrast.

Long Lost Uncle Abner Flywheel

One-Round Gombatz The Boxer

The awe and mystery of Flywheel, Shyster & Flywheel.

Pursuit of Happiness

Civilisation Part Six

Grandeur & Obedience

Civilisation Part 5

Man–The Measure of All Things

Civilisation Part 4

Romance and Reality

Part 3 of Civilisation

The Great Thaw

Part II of Sir Kenneth Clarkes classic documentary series and a reminder of what it is we are in danger of losing if we aren't careful.

Have I Got News For You

The Damien Green affair as filtered through the "satire" programme "Have I Got News For You", according to Samizdata:

Ian Hislop: It is amazing, isn't it, that they were were able to get 20 or so policemen to raid Mr Green's offices and search his house. Where are all these guys when you need to catch a burglar or something?

Compere: Ah, yes, that sounds like the sort of drivel you read in the Daily Mail.

Hislop: So let me get this right - are you saying that is perfectly okay for a bunch of anti-terror policemen to arrest, search and hold an MP for asking annoying questions in the House of Commons?

Compere: I am in all in favour of putting Tory MPs in jail.

Good Lord.

The Skin of Our Teeth

The first installment of a documentary series that reminds us of what we are trying to preserve and how truly fragile it is.

The Eternal Question

Some say that his favourite food is curried duck eggs and that his nose is on loan to the British Museum.

All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Day of the Triffids

The Day of the Triffids is being remade for the BBC.

Given how badly Survivors has fared, I'm not holding my breath over this one.

Deep Thought, Call Your Service

BBC headline:

Four philosophical questions to make your brain hurt

The brain hurting doubtless comes from trying to figure out how Mr. Bain got a lectureship at the University of Glasgow when he cranks out such facile material loaded with buried assumptions and calls it philosophy.

Don't Mention the War

"My arm's come off!"

Survivors

I see that the BBC is reviving the 1970's sci fi series Survivors. From the trailer, I'm not getting my hopes up. It looks all very, very PC with lots of pretty people and strumming guitars, so I'm not getting my hopes up. In fact, since the cast includes the ghastly lead from Bonekickers and one-note actress Freema Agyeman, I shall regard my hopes lightly squashed.



If you want some idea of the standard the remake faces, have a look at the original credits, which I suspect contains more drama than we can expect from the entire first series of the new version.

The Man with the Flower in his Mouth

Television–Very early television.

You may have to squint a bit.

No Pleasing Some People

Oil prices drop below $109 dollars a barrel, which is surely news of crisis on the wane and better times ahead–unless you're the BBC, in which case it's a portent of economic gloom and misery.

Heads, you win...

Ghosts

Another installment in our ongoing effort to provide our readers with the latest from the world of science.

Hug a Jihadist

The BBC's Lyse Doucet criticises news coverage of the Afghanistan campaign, saying that it overlooks "the humanity of the Taliban".

"The humanity of the Taliban"? I had to read that at least three times to make sure I hadn't misunderstood. No doubt that is true in the same way that Khmer Rouge's good points were misunderstood as well, but being totalitarian murderers bent on conquest, enslavement, and genocide will do that for you.

How this remarkably silly woman manages to navigate through life without the smallest fraction of common sense or moral judgment is beyond me.

Electric Nightmare

The Dream

Panorama looks at the G-Wiz and hails it as the "electric dream" of the "green revolution."

The reality

To be fair, it does point out that it doesn't meet safety standards, but that's like saying that crashing into a mountainside in an egg crate is less than optimal.

Bias? What Bias?

BBC headline:
UK troops kill Afghan civilians
Translation:
Suspects shot trying to run checkpoint

Ghostwatch

Orson Welles was unavailable for comment.

After I watched this for today's posting I had a couple of bad nights when it came to shadows.

Bonekickers

Bonekickers is a new BBC series that, judging from the previews, is the sort that as a writer I'd run down a side street to avoid. Maybe it has something to do with its self-consciously ethnic and gender balanced cast, painfully cliched "feisty" female lead and publicity stills that uses the dreaded Pose™ that says "We think we're tough and edgy with that indefinable rock-star vibe, though nobody over the age of 15 who doesn't live in their mother's cellar will agree." It looks predictably awful in that hideous trendy way that fills in for creativity these days and I'd probably put it with Torchwood, Robin Hood, and Hex in the Do Not Watch Unless Threatened By Lord Olivier With A Pair Of Dental Pliers file if it weren't for the fact that it is about a load of archaeologists.

This would have been worth a laugh because as a retired archaeologist I've very low expectations about how my field is portrayed in popular culture as a glamorous sort of licensed tomb-robbing and treasure hunting rather than the meticulous, often boring enterprise that it really is. I'm even willing to forgive that the average archaeologist is never shown in truth as a chronically skint bastard forever on the lookout for a decent job. True, according to the reviews, one character is shown as a hard drinker, but the fantasy lies in it being one character.

But I'll let that pass. Let them forever be Indiana Jones chasing after the Holy Grail or the True Cross or the Lost Bus Ticket and more power to them. There are worse ways for a profession to be portrayed (*cough* Casualty *cough*).

Even the BBC is willing to admit this by running an article that points out the... "heightened" nature of the programme. Except they leave one tiny detail out.

You'll notice that I said that it "would have been" worth a laugh. That was before I noticed the buzz on the Internet about the premiere episode that tried to be "contemporary" by having as the villains a load of crazed, white Christian fundamentalists who want to drive all other religions out of Britain and start off their reign of terror by decapitating a peace-loving Muslim.

Marvelous. One moment I'm anticipating a nice MST3K giggle and the next I'm confronted by the BBC using the licence fee to produce something out of an Al Qaeda recruiting video. Suddenly my sense of irony is lacking and I don't feel much like laughing.

"Lounge Concept"

I've been on road trips like this–though, thankfully, not in a Smart Car.

Top Gear G&T

The BBC Trust has wagged a bony finger at Top Gear's polar special for allegedly "glamourising" drink driving by showing a scene of Jeremy Clarkson sipping a gin and tonic while motoring across the arctic wastes to the North Pole. Leaving aside the bizarre notion that Mr. Clarkson could glamourise anything, the producers quite rightly put forward the defence that the North Pole is outside of British jurisdiction and therefore no offence was committed.

Now if they'd had the presence to also point out that since the programme aired there have been remarkably few incidents of drunken British young people tearing around the Pole in SUVs, its impact may be emperically regarded as minimal.

I can't, however, say the same for the scene in another episode where they showed of James May driving an Aston Martin in Italy stark naked because his car was a racer and therefore didn't have air conditioning and couldn't open the windows. It's of such things that eye bleach is made for.

Update: James May responds– and not to the nude Aston Martin bit.

NHS & BBC

The BBC marks the 60^th anniversary of the founding of the NHS with a story that sets the benchmark for objectivity:

Three generations grateful for NHS

This headline that would do credit to the North Korean news agency was balanced in the story itself by lines like this:

Anthony was born with blue asphyxia. Today he is convinced the NHS saved his life - and that of his mother.

And from there It gets downright sycophantic. Overcrowded hospitals? Endless waiting lists? Mixed sex wards? Treatment rationing? A haemorrhaging budget with an army of bureaucrats to a squad of doctors? Sorry, no mention of that here.

All we need now is a pronouncement from Minitruth that all diseases have been eradicated and we'll have the set.

James May & Meccano

We're doomed

Top Gear USA

Top Gear, the only car show in history that got me to watch a car show, is to be transmitted on NBC television in the States. Sorry, not the BBC original with Clarkson, Hammond and May, but an American version that somehow is going to catch lightning in a bottle twice running.

The creative ineptness and poor judgment of American network television never ceases to amaze me–particularly when it comes to buying successful foreign shows.

Any other broadcaster for anything other than game shows would simply have bought the broadcast rights for the original programmes and left it at that, but the major American networks operate by their own bizarre rules due to a little episode in the 1960s when Britain's ATV started making heavy inroads into the syndication market, followed by The Avengers becoming a smash hit on ABC television. The Hollywood production companies had a collective infarct when they saw the possibility of competing with British programmes that they threw down the gauntlet to the networks and told them that if they ever bought another foreign product the producers would boycott the lot of them.

Since then, not a single British series has aired on a network unless it was essentially an American production filmed in Britain and so certifiable hits like Doctor Who, Torchwood, and Spaced are relegated to cable while the networks indulge in the strange practice of buying formats, but leaving everything else behind. Sometimes this worked, as in the case of All in the Family and Three's Company, or The Office, though all were pale imitations of their parents. More often it ended up with painful abortions visited upon such classics as Fawlty Towers and Couplings that vanished in a mercifully short time.

But, fools and their money, as they say.

Doctors' Daughter

Science has decreed that marrying first cousins in now hunky dory, but what about an actor dating his television daughter who is also the real-life daughter of another actor who played the first actor's television character previously.

My brain hurts.

Does Plastic Count?

The BBC asks the hard-hitting question:

So is it possible to survive the day without spending any cash?

Checks drinks cupboard.

Yes.

Panorama Predicts

Looking back at looking forward to the 1960s.

And I'm getting dizzy.

Update: And over at Paleo-Future, it's France 2000AD as seen from 1900.

Mystery of the Ages

From the BBC:

Every day British people throw away more than a million pots of unopened yoghurt. Why?

Having tasted "cheesecake" yoghurt by mistake, I offer this possibility:

Maybe because it's nasty?

Organ Recital

BBC headline:

Ireland appoint Kidney as coach

Apparently the spleen wasn't up to scratch.

It's All In The Database

I love this nasty little bit of tyranny courtesy of the BBC. It even has the infamous knock on the door.

Just goes to show what they think of Outer Party members down Broadcasting House.

Hitting The Nail

"A soap-opera with laser-gun fights"; the best description of the consistently disappointing new version of Doctor Who that I've seen.

Could There Be a Connection?

Justin Webb looks at the "paradox" of the United States as a nation with 200 million guns and yet has a certain "tranquility and civility".

Mr. Webb's inability to see what is right before his face is taken to even greater heights by invoking the apparent contradiction of the Virginia Tech massacre (which occurred at a widely-publicised "gun-free zone") plus a resident of Washington DC who opposes the draconian firearms ban on the city being lifted by showing off nine gunshot wounds and claiming that lifting the ban would turn the capital into the "wild west". Mr. Webb does not ask him, "as opposed to what?"

Next up: Why the United States believes in military force despite defeating Communism and Fascism, has a record prison population despite a low crime rate, and grows vast amounts of food despite not suffering from famine.

Comedy of Fear

Can Mohammed go to the mountain?

Not if you're the BBC.

Car Shooting

Top Gear-Car Shooting - Click here for another funny movie.
Now that is what I call sport.

White Season

Ron Liddle over at The Spectator sums up BBC's "White Season":

When those programmes were commissioned and the BBC executives sat around discussing the content, they undoubtedly caught the whiff of the zeitgeist — that, come on chaps, we really ought to do something about those dreadful people in the north who somehow feel estranged and alienated. But they were singularly incapable of commissioning anything which said, actually, they might have a legitimate grievance.

That would have been a step too far. Instead they commissioned a bunch of programmes that said: white working-class people, we feel your pain, but unfortunately, you’re wrong. In other words, they demonstrated precisely the same mindset which infects every single news bulletin, documentary and drama we have witnessed for the last 20 years on the BBC. Can you imagine them commissioning a film about a Muslim girl who converts to Christianity, converts her mum — and by the denouement is proven right to have done so? It will never happen.

White Wash Girl

I haven't had a chance to see White Girl, part of the BBC's "White Season", except in brief previews on the Web, but if the reviews in The Telegraph and Beaman's World are anything to go by, it is a drama that shows that in the eyes of the Beeb the white working class of Britain are a load of drunken, foul-mouthed, wife-beating, child-beating racists whose only salvation lies in embracing religion.

Provided, that is, the religion is Islam.

This is no reflection on Muslims qua Muslims, but from what I've been able to glean, the BBC's storyline of knuckle-dragging chavs being redeemed by blemish-less mosque-goers is as deserving of a double take as a 1943 Rank film showing how English dock workers would be so much more pleasant if they were more like those nice Germans.

E-Day Update

E-Day, an "independent operation" (even though started and backed to the hilt by the BBC) , has proven a complete bust. Designed to sell people on the idea of returning to mud huts and peasantry, the end result was that electricity consumption actually went up on the day.

The BBC has relegated the embarassment to the back pages of its web site and is now faced with trying to wrap its collective mind around the fact that the British people aren't a load of dupes after all. Meanwhile, Dr. Matt Prescott, the alleged brains behind E-Day said,

I will do my best to learn the relevant lessons for next time.

The relevant lesson being that there shouldn't be a next time.

Update: This just keeps getting better:

E-Day organiser Dr Matt Prescott said the drop in temperature on the day may be behind the rise, with more people leaving lights and heating on as a result.

Yes! A stunt to worship at the altar of Blessed Gaia combat global warming is defeated by global cooling!

Well, Done, Britain!

Lord Summerisle celebrates E-Day

After the BBC was rightly given the bird for trying to mount a Luddite propaganda rally called Planet Relief, the corporation decided to become more responsible and, along with the usual environmentalist suspects and electricity companies fearing bad publicity, mounted a Luddite propaganda rally called Energy Saving Day or E-Day.

As part of this create-the-news-rather-than-report-it affair, the BBC posted a running meter on their web site that would show how much Britons are helping to return to the Dark Ages Save the Planet^tm by cutting back on electricity on The Day and...

Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

The BBC & Responsibility

Miss Nasreen Suleaman, producer of the infamous BBC programme "Don't Panic, I'm Islamic", gave testimony at the trial of one of the men linked to the 21 July 2005 bombing attempt. According to The Telegraph (emphasis added):

Called as a defence witness, Miss Suleaman admitted that she had spoken to Hamid in the days following the July 21 attacks and found out he knew the wanted men.

She said she thought he was scared the fugitives might try to call him but did not contact the police because she felt under "no obligation" to do so.

Such monumental arrogance is staggering. This woman had information about terrorists at large and she didn't tell the authorities because she felt "no obligation". If the Ministry of Justice (there's a chillingly Orwellian title) isn't drawing up warrants for withholding evidence, obstruction of justice, and giving aid and comfort to the enemy in a time of war, then they are sadly neglecting their duty.

A Matter of Priorities

Twelve Pakistanis in Spain have been arrested on terrorism charges and the BBC looks at the impact... on Pakistanis.

No mention, however, on why Jihadis keep getting rounded up in a country that rolled over and did as it was told after the Madrid bombings. Maybe appeasement doesn't work?

Space Striptease

I remember seeing this clip of James Burke doing a space striptease when it was first broadcast on the BBC... way too long ago.

Call me biased, but I somehow prefer this one.

Islamofascist Paintball

From the Times:

The BBC funded a paintballing trip for men later accused of Islamic terrorism and failed to pass on information about the 21/7 bombers to police, a court was told yesterday.

Mohammed Hamid, who is charged with overseeing a two-year radicalisation programme to prepare London-based Muslim youths for jihad, was described as a “cockney comic” by a BBC producer.

The BBC paid for Mr Hamid and fellow defendants Muhammad al-Figari and Mousa Brown to go on a paintballing trip at the Delta Force centre in Tonbridge, Kent, in February 2005. The men, accused of terrorism training, were filmed for a BBC programme called Don’t Panic, I’m Islamic, screened in June 2005.

If this is how the BBC handles the war, I think I will panic, thank you very much.

BBC Scepticism

In an uncharacteristic display of actual journalism, the BBC gave space to John Christy, member of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) and climate sceptic to state his case in his own words.

Don't get too excited, though. For every article like this, there a score more who treat that treat those who dare to question the received wisdom of Holy Gaia like an exotic tribe worthy of merely ethnographic interest.

Communist Nostalgia

It's the 90^th anniversary of the October Revolution and the BBC's James Rodgers looks at the hard time Russia's Communists have today:

These were people who toiled all their lives to build a Communist utopia, only to find that their reward was a penance of a pension doled out in the harsh, new, capitalist Russia of the 1990s.

Actually, Mr. Rodgers, they toiled all their lives in the service of a totalitarian regime that was bent on turning the entire planet into a prison camp and murdered 100 million people trying and in a just world their "reward" would have been something more appropriate than a pension. But such an oversight isn't surprising. Mr. Rodgers spends gallons of ink writing about Russia's Communists' idealism, nostalgia and hopes for the future, but spares not a drop for the victims of their brutish, tyrannical ideology.

I wonder if the BBC will follow this up with a similar puff piece about Neo-Nazis in Germany.

I also wonder if the Moon is made of cheese.

Doctor Who Nosferatu

This will not end well.

The Sontarans are returning to Doctor Who.

A few decades ago this news would have had me punching the air. Today, it merely confirms that the current series is nothing but a sex-obsessed (in a family programme!), treacly, sentimental, romantic, pop-culture centered, self-referential, gratuitous homosexual referencing (family programme!), aimed-at-the-fourteen-year-old girl-demographic vampire sucking on the corpse of a classic science fiction series that hasn't a blind bit of thought about what made the show great in its heyday and will undercut and betray whatever it is allegedly "reviving".

Stand by for the glacier-paced, self-indulgent, talky, watch-the-villain-get-in-touch-with-his-feelings road crash.

The Brain

The Brain: Basically a wrinkled bag of skin filled with warm water, veins and thought muscles.

Running Comment

A comment from "Harry" in San Diego on the BBC web site regarding the California wildfires:

I was evacuated during the fires, and all I have to say is that the last few days have been awful.

I can imagine. Though why he was being force-fed laxatives remains a mystery.

Thirteen to Centaurus

For your Saturday sci-fi feature we present this disturbing little J.G. Ballard tale from 1965: Thirteen to Centaurus.

The New Etiquette

The BBC, operating under the delusion that the sort of damp-handed, creeping Continentalism practised at Broadcasting House is the norm for the country, ponders at tedious length the "new etiquette" of people who are not close family members kissing and hugging.

In order to help avoid confusion, I would point out that this sort of thing was settled long ago in my part of Yorkshire and I offer the following guidelines for the confused:

• A handshake is a perfectly acceptable form of greeting, though if the recipient is female, try to restrict the breakage to the smaller bones of the hand.


• An offer of a cheek to kiss is best responded to with a blank stare of complete incomprehension followed by a look implying that the cheek-offerer has gone mad.


• The offer of a "Soprano-style" hug anywhere outside of backstage at the Royal Theatre should be politely declined with a cold-conking.

I hope this clears up these little details.

Quatermass and the Pit (Part 6)

London becomes a Martian colony and it's up to Quatermass to save the Earth.

Quatermass and the Pit (Part 5)

Can Quatermass convince the government of the danger before it's too late? Find out in Part 5.

Tune in tomorrow for the exciting conclusion.

Quatermass and the Pit (Part 4)

Are we the Martians? Find out in Part 4.

Tune in tomorrow for Part 5

Quatermass and the Pit (Part 3)

What mystery is behind the history of Hobb's lane? Find out in Part 3.

Tune in tomorrow for Part 4.

Quatermass and the Pit (Part 2)

What is the thing is the pit? Find out in Quatermass and the Pit, Part 2.

Tune in tomorrow for Part 3.

Quatermass and the Pit (Part 1)

And now your Saturday classic: Quatermass and the Pit (1959) Part 1.

Archaeology, science fiction and Martians; what more could one want?

Tune in tomorrow for Part 2.

Nativity

BBC headline:

Church gives birth to baby girl

The Age of Miracles is not past.

A Cutting Issue

BBC headline:

TV cat poll was fixed, BBC says

And so was the cat, presumably.

The Machine Stops

The BBC's adaptation of E. M. Forsters classic 1909 science fiction parable.

Switching Off

The BBC was forced to cancel a political rally TV special on climate change because its "consciousness raising" message was too blatantly biased for even the Beeb to get away with.

Not surprisingly, Richard Black's report for the BBC on the decision starts off and continues for half the article with responses from environmentalists condemning the cancellation and when he finally does get to those who questioned the BBC's wisdom Mr. Black summarilly dismisses them as "right-wing" before rushing off to a BBC One spokesman backpedaling along the path of declaring that it was really about the BBC preferring to concentrate on documentaries.

In fact, if one looks closer, one can find the true nougat of truth in the Mars bar of controversy in this quote:

Celebrities such as Ricky Gervais were said to be interested in presenting the show, which would have involved viewers in a mass "switch-off" to save energy.

Aside from the fact that flipping a light switch "saves energy" about as effectively as closing a window blind "saves sunlight", perhaps the reality behind the cancellation was that it dawned on the BBC that putting the idea of "switching off" in the heads of viewers was too close to reminding them of the practical alternative to watching this sort of drivel.