What the harm in that?

One quarter of Germans say they wouldn't mind having a microchip embedded in their flesh.

After the way they reacted to that little incident in 1933, I'm not surprised.

Best friend, my a***

Man's dog grasses on him.

The Tell

I ran into something like this once (the situation, not the car). I was working for a client company that was so broke you literally couldn't get a paperclip and one day the boss drove up in a brand new Jag.

That was the signal to bail before the cops came to seize the computers.

Stone-cold idiocy

Oliver Stone's new 10-hour documentary sets the record straight on Hitler who has been “an easy scapegoat throughout history”.

And the Second World War was a slight misunderstanding.

Salami battle with Parmesan daggers

This is one of those times I suspect that the police just stood back and waited to see what happened next.

Wingsuit

You will believe that a man can auger straight into the ground.

The Wingsuit; it may not improve airborne assaults, but it will provide a whole new dimension to playing "chicken".

Christmastime for Hitler

The ACLU would have loved these guys.

Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall!

Twenty years ago that insult to all free men, the Berlin Wall came crashing down and Communism itself followed shortly after.

I was in Berlin while the wall was still up and it was like someone had jammed an icicle in the clockwork of history. It not only divided one of the world's capitols, but it gave the lie to a murderous system that had to imprison its own citizens from fleeing the "workers' paradise". I remember Berlin as being like a hospital patient forever trying to survive on an IV after being hacked in two with every infection and necrosis imaginable seeping into the wound. The old John le Carré novels weren't that far off. Tell young people today about all those who ran the kill zone, dug tunnels, built balloons or squeezed into all sorts of bizarre hiding places in order to reach the West and freedom and they'd never believe you.

The Wall is gone now. May the memory off all those who defied it and those who struggled so hard to tear it down never be forgotten.

Trabant nT

How to reintroduce one of Communism's most horrible cars to the 21st century? Make is an all-electric, solar-powered version.

That'll work.

Hitler home movies

Previously unknown home movies of Hitler revealed and EI has the exclusive clip.

Nanny car

BMW present a car that knows when you're having a heart attack.

Given the price of cars these days, it's a wonder it doesn't go off every time someone looks at the sticker.

Last Orders, Please.

The world's largest beer mat manufacturer is facing the chop.

How the mighty have fallen.

Still, we can take solace in this photo of the world's first beer can.

ACE

German roboticists have come up with a a robot, christened the Autonomous City Explorer or ACE, that is capable of going up to people and asking them for directions. Ever on the cutting edge of journalism, Ephemeral Isle has an exclusive audio clip of ACE in action.

Justice for Some

From the BBC:

As the last remaining Nazis from World War II approach the end of their lives, it is debatable whether it is still worthwhile to pursue them.

I've no problem with hunting down the Nazis to the last man. My problem is that we don't treat the Communists and the Jihadists with the same fervor for justice.

M

Trufill

From Germany we see a machine capable of dispensing ten pints of beer in ten seconds.

That should be just about fast enough to keep up with Big Wilf.

Bacon Mistaken for Bomb

At least it's better than a bomb mistaken for bacon.

Mmm... Bacon.

360° of Cooking

It's hip, it's new, it's now and about as practical as a gas ring in a balloon.

Apples, Not Cheese, You Demented Balance!

A supermarket scale that not only weighs your purchases, but identifies them as well.

Spiffing. Another inanimate object that I can have prolonged, pointless arguments with.

Gordon Ramsey, Call Your Service

From the University of Munich comes the B21 kitchen robot.

It identifies utensils, helps out with the cooking and says **** a lot.













Update: And here it is in action:

Cow Farts

Scientists in Germany are strapping balloons to the back of cows to collect their farts.

Ever since they found that cure for cancer they've had way too much time on their hands.

Referendum in Germany Bans Broccoli & Nap Time

Not confining itself to cow farts, Germany demonstrates that it has gone completely off the deep end by putting a bill before Parliament that would lower the voting age to birth.

There is a certain logic to this. If you're going to treat the voters like infants, then why not...

Stress shirt

German scientists have come up with a shirt that can detect when you're stressed and if I got one it would be right nine times out of ten.

Why am I stressed? Because I'm wearing a *&%ing shirt that can tell when I'm stressed!

Metropolis Found

CLEVER

When I saw the Technical University of Berlin new CLEVER concept I thought it was another one of those useless green machines like that VW tandem monstrosity that I talked about a couple of weeks back. But then I discovered two things: 1) It tilts up to 45 degrees and 2) If it's anything like it's Dutch ancestor the Carver One, it must be a hell of a lot of fun.


I think Richard Hammond summed it up best:

I want guns strapped to the side of it.

Lace Up The Engine, Min

From the Spike Milligan school of automotive design, BMW creates a motor car out of cloth.

I'd like a Land Rover Series IIa in a nice herringbone tweed, please.

Bushaltestelle

When is a bus stop not a bus stop?

When it's an OAP trap.

Missing the Point

The Germans are working on an "environmentally friendly" bomb that won't hurt the environment.

No wonder I get migraines.

VW 1L

Presenting the Volkswagen 1L motor car designed to run at up to 235 MPG and on the market by 2010.

Not so much a car as a diesel-powered tandem bike.

One Day at The Railyard

Think once, think twice, think: Properly ventilate your tanker car before it implodes.

Dog Bites Man

Today's shock-horror story: Leftists in a tizzy as a polar bear eats a fish!

Um... Yeah.

Roborestaurant

Serves lunch. Delivery service hunts for Sarah Connor.

Blitzmädels an die Front

There is a story behind this and, quite frankly, I don't wish to know it.

Gustav Graves, Call Your Service

Nazi orbital death-ray.

Bet that got your attention

Tinned Cheeseburger

Go away. Just go away.

Born Free

Run, little crayfish! Run!

Robocalligrapher

Inscribes Martin Luther bible; changes sixth commandment to "Thou Shalt Not Kill-- Except When Hunting for Sarah Conner".

Sleeper

Lufthana's new Airbus 380 sleeper plane service. The good news is that you can now lie down to sleep on long-haul flights. The bad news is that you've swapped "cattle car" for "cord wood."

Mission Stardust

And now a bit of cheese to brighten your Monday. This 1967 space epic based on Germany's insanely prolific Perry Rhodan pulp series has been compared favourably to 2001... shots to the groin.

Germany Now Under Sharia Law?

From the AFP:

A German woman judge has refused a Moroccan-born woman permission to file for divorce by interpreting the Koran as allowing husbands to beat their wives.

Well, that makes sense... WHAT?!?

Star Maidens

From the '70s: The Scottish-German sci-fi production that combines low budget with extreme pain.

The frightening thing is, it's out on DVD now.

Raumpatrouille

Where? Where did we go wrong?

Um... It helps if you speak German. Sorry, I forgot that.

Wake Up Call

A splash of cold water in the face regarding the West's fecklessness in the face of the Jihadists:

Objectively speaking, the cartoon controversy was a tempest in a teacup. But subjectively it was a show of strength and, in the context of the "clash of civilizations," a dress rehearsal for the real thing. The Muslims demonstrated how quickly and effectively they can mobilize the masses, and the free West showed that it has nothing to counter the offensive -- nothing but fear, cowardice and an overriding concern about the balance of trade. Now the Islamists know that they are dealing with a paper tiger whose roar is nothing but a tape recording.

As different as the West's reactions to the Muslim protests were, what they had in common were origins in feelings of powerlessness and helplessness. Critical souls who only yesterday agreed with Marx that religion is the opium of the masses suddenly insisted that religious sensibilities must be taken into account, especially when accompanied by violence. The representatives of open societies reacted like the inhabitants of an island about to be hit by a hurricane. Powerless against the forces of nature, they stocked up on supplies, nailed doors and windows shut and hoped that the storm would soon pass. Of course, whereas such a reaction may be an appropriate response to natural disasters, such a lack of resistance merely encourages fundamentalists. It completely justifies their view of the West as weak, decadent and completely unwilling to defend itself.

...

In 1972, more than three decades ago, Danish lawyer and part-time politician Mogens Glistrup had an idea that brought him instant fame. To save taxes, he proposed that the Danish army be disbanded and an answering machine be set up in the defense ministry that would play the following message: "We capitulate!" Not only would it save money, Glistrup argued, but it would also save lives in an emergency. On the strength of this "program," Glistrup's Progress Party managed to become the second-most powerful political party in the Danish parliament in the 1973 elections.

Glistrup had the right idea, but he was a number of years premature. Now would be the right time to set up his answering machine.

The frightening thing is, this had to be pointed out to us by a German.

Eternal Mysteries

In case you're wondering, here is why German toads explode.

Now all you have to wonder about is why the deuce you wonder why German toads explode.