ISS RIP

According to Popular Science, Nasa is planning to deorbit the International Space Station in 2016. This is some service life for a station that hasn't even been completed yet.

I didn't know Chrysler was the main contractor.

Space jerky

Canada is boldly going where no snack has gone before and is sending two pounds of beef jerky to the International Space Station.

In response, the United States has dispatched an emergency craft loaded with Slim Jims.

Space Turkey

It's good to see that NASA is keeping up with its hallowed traditions.

No shrimp cocktail, though.

Mushroom Monsters

Mushrooms have been found growing on the International Space Station.

Between them and the spiders I expect some major kaiju action soon.

Space Spiders

Astronauts aboard the International Space Station have not only lost a tool kit, but the spiders have gone missing as well.

Not to worry, though. What could possibly go wrong?

Taste Test

This is an example of the sort of writing assignment that I am thankful I never get.

Space Loo

The bog on the International Space Station has clogged again and Nasa is buying a second from Russia, who built the last one, that will cost $19 million when installed.

If anyone at the Johnson Space Centre is reading this, I can give them a new toilet for £120 and install it for free if they'll provide transport and the tea.

Can't say fairer than that.

Space Kharzi

The toilet aboard the International Space Station is in imminent danger of breaking down.

Man the escape pods.

Update: It's a Russian toilet.

We'd like a word with the procurement officer, please.

Ground Force

An impressive shot the the International Space Station taken from the ground-- even more impressive when you learn that it was taken by a load of high school students.

I'm Afraid I Can't Do That, Dave

I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you.

The computer that controls the International Space Station's orientation, oxygen and water has suffered a failure.

Though mission control insists that there is no cause for alarm, the crew has been told to disregard any computer suggestions to go outside to fix the communications antenna.

Snails in Space

A Russian Progress cargo ship docked with the International Space Station with a shipment of snails.

Guess after all that shrimp cocktail a bit of escargot starts to look good.

What? No Tang?

Last week, the astronauts about the International Space Station had the arduous task of trying out a new "celebratory" menu designed to mark special occassions during long space missions. The menu included:

Main dishes:

• Effiloché de volaille en Parmentier (shredded chicken Parmentier)
• Dos d'espadon façon Riviera (Riviera style swordfish)
• Volaille épicée, sauté de légumes à la Thaï (spicy chicken with stir-fried Thai vegetables)
• Cailles rôties au Madiran (quails roasted in Madrian wine)
• Magret de canard confit, condiment aux câpres (duck breast confit with capers)

Side dishes:

• Carottes de sable au goût d'orange et coriandre (sand carrots with a hint of orange and coriander)
• Céleri rave en délicate purée à la noix de muscade (a light puree of celery with a hint of nutmeg)
• Caponata (tomato, aubergine and olive dip)

Desserts:

• Gâteau de semoule de blé fine aux abricots secs (semolina cake with dried apricots)
• Morceaux de pommes fondantes (apple fondant pieces)
• Far de l'espace Space (a Brittany 'far' tart)
• Rice pudding aux fruits confits (rice pudding with candied fruit)

This would be impressive, if it hadn't all come in tins