Enough to drive one to drink

The British government plans to lower the drink drive limit to less than a pint of beer.

You can, however, have as much Soma as you like.

Update: The Great Police Terror.

Update: More than meets the eye.

For sale

What is billed as "the world's oldest flying car" (though I suspect that depends on your definition) is up for sale.

Mind you, there's no indication that the thing has ever actually flown, nor that this 21-foot long, seven-foot wide conveyance would have made it past the first hedgerow, so both "flying" and "car" are more theoretical than actual.

The true compact

Ford Aurora

The 1964 attempt at Satnav. Unfortunately, it hadn't been invented yet.

Popemobile Mark 2

Not yet, but even his Holiness must move with the times.

The Tell

I ran into something like this once (the situation, not the car). I was working for a client company that was so broke you literally couldn't get a paperclip and one day the boss drove up in a brand new Jag.

That was the signal to bail before the cops came to seize the computers.

The circle is complete

Local councils ticket their own cars, then refuse to pay, then sue themselves.

Brain... about... to.... explode!

The car that time forgot

Jeremy Clarkson, call your service

Turn your car into a tank.

Personally, I'm waiting for the strap-on 70mm gun accessory.

Green Police battle thoughtcrime

Somewhere Lord Summerisle is smiling as he sees the world of his dreams.

I don't watch the Superbowl (I prefer real sports like rugby or chainsaw catching), so this advert is new to me. I have no idea who this is supposed to appeal to, except perhaps Outer Party members who somehow imagine that buying Minieco-approved cars will save them from Room 101–for now.

Piston prince

The Prince of Wales is having the pistons from his Aston Martin DB6 Volante made into cuff links to raise money for charity, though what the attraction is in having a couple of dirty great pistons dangling off one's sleeves continues to elude me.

Jet Jaguar

Britain dusts off the old JET-1 for another go.

It's being produced by a consortium led by Jaguar Land Rover, so the prospect of a jet-powered supercar is at least real enough to daydream about.

Honda solar hydrogen station

Honda unveils a solar-powered hydrogen generating station for refuelling your hydrogen car at home. According to Honda, this will produce enough hydrogen "for the average daily commute".

Considering the amount of sunshine Chez Szondy gets, that sounds about right. Mind you, I work at home and my commute means getting from the bedroom to the office by way of the tea kettle. On the other hand, if your commute involves actually getting out of the drive...

Skeet shooting

Not bad, but I still prefer this version:

Inflated idiocy

Ah, California! Land of sunshine, oranges, Hollywood, and a proposed law that would make having improperly inflated tyres punishable by a $1,000 fine and six months' imprisonment.

That hissing sound you hear is Californians properly inflating before they leave the state for good.

Aston Martin DBS Volante

The Telegraph has pictures of the new Aston Martin DBS Volante.

Twenty years ago, I'd have jumped at the chance to own one of these–especially if it was in British Racing Green, but now I'd just look like a middle-aged pillock in an Aston Martin.

Santa's new sleigh

At least Land Rover left room for Rudolph.

Hy Wire

As the owner of a perfectly good SUV with a duff engine in need of replacement, the idea of a modular car looks bloody brilliant.

10 cars of the Apocalypse

Those who do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.

Subaru Impreza WRX STI

Think they could deliver one to Chez Szondy before the snow hits?

A parable for our times

A Prius and a Tesla take on an SUV and the SUV wins.

Thus balance is restored.

British Leyland 1976

A warning from history.

The triumph of the left

Samoa sees the light.

"Top Gear team immortalised in Lego"

Excuse me, I've got a cinder in my eye.

Trabant nT

How to reintroduce one of Communism's most horrible cars to the 21st century? Make is an all-electric, solar-powered version.

That'll work.

RESULT! 131 MPH on steam

The British Steam Car Challenge breaks the Mallard's steam speed record of 125.88 mph set in 1938 and Fred Mariott's 1906 speed in a Stanley Steamer of 127.659.

Well done, lads.

(And yes, my very American seven-year old daughter does know the chorus.)

Taxi

Taxis... of the FUTURE!

That's one way to deal with it

Jet-propelled Ford

A Ford F-150 with a jet engine in the back? Even with the air intake smack against the reaer windscreen,okay. The guy can get it started? I'll buy that. Reach 516 MPH without running out of fuel in ten seconds or flipping over when the truck starts acting like an airfoil? Not a chance.

Stealing a Model T

Ever since the lads on Top Gear had a look at the controls layouts of the first cars I've had a fascination with that gloriously complicated bit of machinery, the Model T. Not only was it one of the most successful cars in history, but it was so mind-bogglingly complicated to start that it's a wonder that anyone ever managed to steal one.

In case you ever wish to, here's how.

Scamander RRV

Yes, it's impressive, but I was hoping for something more like this:

Nanny car

BMW present a car that knows when you're having a heart attack.

Given the price of cars these days, it's a wonder it doesn't go off every time someone looks at the sticker.

The Dolphin of Detroit

Brian Deese, the 31-year old Yale Law School drop out whose car industry experience consists of once sleeping in a GM car park and has been charged with the task of, according to the New York Times, "dismantling General Motors and rewriting the rules of American capitalism," has been declared the Dolphin Dauphin of Detroit.

No doubt shipments of tennis balls are in the offing.

Coffee cup power inverter

An AC inverter that fits in a cup holder. Just don't get it mixed up with the Starbucks version or things could get a bit nasty.

CarGo

CarGo: The solution to moving goods in an urban setting. Not enough room to get about while doing deliveries? Then get a teeny, tiny dodgem car set on pram wheels that folds up for no readily apparent reason.

Or you can come to your senses and get a small pickup that you can't fold no matter how much you want to.

Government Motors

Welcome to American Leyland.

Peel p50

Now this is what I need: A car I can stick in the back of the Molotov and still have room for the dogs.

New Dimensions

From the 1939 New York World's Fair. The future doesn't belong to robots as long as there are self-assembling cars around.

Tells you how much things have changed. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what the thing playing the bagpipe music was until I realised that it was an inner tube for the spare tyre.

Robo-Taxi

Yes, it's the fully automated two-passenger taxi that marks a new level of personal involvement because you are the crumple zone.

Not available between 2AM and 5AM because it's out hunting for Sarah Connor.

High Road Aerocar

Leigh Aerosystems presents its entry in the flying car sweepstakes, now undergoing wind tunnel tests.

I sincerely hope that the wings are retractable, otherwise side roads, parallel parking, and passing cars could be a problem.

Renault E0

The Renault E0 ecocar: We left out the windscreen and passed on the savings to you!

Stand By for the Chrysler Princess

So, the US government and the unions now have controlling interest in both GM and Chrysler.

Why not nationalise the car industry? Look how well it worked with British Leyland.

Morris Marina Moment

It could happen. I lost a couple of cars myself that way.

Forward to the Past

Now that Mr. Barack Hussein Obama has made clear that he has the power to sack the CEO of General Motors at will, we can dispense with all that free market nonsense and get down to business. The way is now clear for the newly nationalised Detroit to build the true People's Car.

Also available in brown.

Obvious Department

Popular Science poses the question, "Can cars float?"

In my experience: No.

But can you destroy a Toyota pick up? Clearly, we got the wrong machine.

Motoring '70s Style

James May discusses the perfect gift for the ladies: a 1971 Triumph 2000 Mk II.

I quite like the money quote:

I decided it was time to buy her indoors her own car, so she could get out more. By buying her a Seventies Triumph I would ensure she never got too far.

Forward planning. You can't beat it.

Tramontana R-Editon

Spain: Where car designers are barking mad.

Audi Hover Shark

Yes, it's very cool looking, but I prefer my concept cars to not violate the laws of physics, thank you.

18-Wheeler Alpine Challenge

Lorrying at its finest.

Snow Shoes

God, I hope these really work. If I ever glimpse the 9th level of Hell, I'm certain that putting on tyre chains in the snow is going to be featured there.

Snow Days–Again

I spoke too soon about the five hour chauffeur days being a thing of the past. I was woken at 2 AM this morning by a wet nose in my face that signified that the hairier members of the household had to go potty and when I let them back in I noticed that the dark brown dog and the black and white dog had changed into two white dogs.

Yes, it was snowing, which meant that the Molotov was getting its first test by fire. Or ice in this case. It wasn't a heavy snow and the worst problem was the usual black ice on the steeper bits, but the Molotov came through with flying colours. We were also fortunate that the snow only clung to the high altitudes, so that once we got into the valley it was more or less plain sailing except for the odd idiot in the ditch for whom ice is an abstract concept.

Though it's still an arctic scene outside, it's at least warm enough that the roads cleared and I could get back up the hill relatively easily. The real test will probably come tonight when we're expected to get hit with more snow. In which case, it may be time for some world-class cocking about.

Car News

We're back up to standard on the automotive front at Chez Szondy. After a bit of internet shopping and test driving we are now back up to two cars, which means that I'm no longer getting up at 6 AM and spending five hours a day playing chauffeur; and the daughter and I aren't trapped in the house on the weekends.

We've also learned our lesson and after three years admit that city cars are rubbish in the country, so rather than getting another little commuter car that will probably end up smashed, drowned or buried in snow, we've bought a secondhand 4X4 that will not only keep us from being snowbound so often, but is also dog-friendly and has enough power for hauling around all the haulage that needs hauling.

It's a 1997 Chevrolet Blazer, but seeing as we discovered after buying it that the petrol cap was an old rag (since replaced) I have decided to call it "Molotov".

World Thorium Fuel Concept Car

A car powered by a thorium-fueled nuclear reactor, designed to last a hundred years, and looks like a chromium bat out of Hell.

If they'd just tell me where the *%^@ing door is, I'd buy one.

Formula AE

A green supercar that runs on solar power and has a wind turbine inside that provides the car with 20 percent more power from the air rushing past as it speeds along.

And I can lift myself off the ground by my bootstraps.

Prius Pro & Con

A man in Massachusetts recently powered his house using his Prius as a makeshift generator after the mains were knocked out by an ice storm. This almost made me change my mind about the appalling little things until I recalled that during the recent snow storm at Chez Szondy both our cars were stranded miles away and I doubt that a Prius could get up the mountain any better than the Hunmobile.

Besides, an emergency genny costs about 60 times less than what a Prius goes for and you look less of a burke for owning one.

PT Cruising No More

I write a lot of articles about motor cars, but I can't say that I have any great love for them. Maybe it's because I've always preferred to play around with electrical circuits rather than fan belts or maybe it's because the cars I've owned have always been based strictly on what I can afford rather than what interested me. Or maybe it's because where a broken computer means falling back on things like pencils and paper, a broken car means being stranded miles from anywhere with the prospect of a whacking great repair bill at the end of it.

Or maybe it's because said strandings happen at the most inconvenient times.

Take yesterday. I'd had an appalling string of circumstances that had begun with my having the rare luxury of being a week ahead on my work and ended with my being five days behind and only four days to hit two deadlines. I'd planned my day out accordingly and cleared my schedule so that I could make my phone calls and pound out my articles in short order. The only thing I had to do was drop off my daughter at school and then it was back home to the keyboard. It was bloody cold with ten to fifteen degrees of frost, but that isn't too bad. Unless the car heater on the PT Cruiser refuses to kick in, that is–which it didn't. Then it's a bone-numbing episode with the daughter huddled under a blanket and my wiling away the time by wondering whether my fingers or toes would be lost first to frostbite.

But such cheery thoughts were soon banished as I saw the engine temperature gauge creep up from its usual operating zone and closer and closer to the red. That's scary enough in town or on the motorway, but when you're winding through mountain roads past farm and field ten miles from the nearest garage, that gets to be a bit hairy. Still, it wasn't actually in the red, nor were there any scary beeps and blinking lights, so I kept one eye on the needle and soldiered on. I dropped the daughter off at her school, checked the water level in the reserve tank , let the machine cool down, then ran it in idle for about twenty minutes. Everything seemed normal, so I figured that it was just a product of the cold and decided to try for home while my luck held.

It held alright; like a gallon of buckshot in a wet paper bag. I didn't get a mile and a half before the temperature shot up and I stalled at an intersection. Fortunately, I was able to get it running again by letting it sit for a half hour while I pounded my head on the steering wheel. Deciding not to take any more chances, I got on the motorway and made for the nearest service station.

It's the sort of gamble I've made many times before with blinking petrol gauges, cranky brakes, and whining tyres, but this time luck ran out and as I made to turn left at the lights, the PT Cruiser gasped its last and died. I almost wepted; partly out of sentiment for the valiant chariot, but mainly because the tin sod had not only conked out in the middle of traffic, but the gearbox was jammed, so I couldn't even be pushed.

So began several hours of phone calls to the insurance company, then to the wife to pick me up, arrangements for a tow, discovering the tow companies are insanely busy in snowy weather, standing in the freezing cold warning motorists to go 'round me (0ne of whom I swore was Santa Claus) and counting up how many asked me if they could help against those who thought I was deliberately parked there just to annoy them. Finally, two state troopers and a tow truck later, the Cruiser was hauled to the Chrysler dealer in Monroe, where I asked them to have a quick look at the damage before Chrysler went bankrupt–not that that would be likely after I answered the phone at home a couple of hours later and was quoted a repair price so high that any government bailout would be redundant in comparison. So, now my family is faced with the choice of either pouring an insane amount of cash into a car that never ran well since the day we bought it, or finding some alternative mode of transport.

Needless to say, I am now in the market for a secondhand motorbike with a sidecar.

Can't be worse.

Tesla

Impressive, but impractical.

Aerocar

James May, uh, "drives" the fabled Aerocar.

The Eternal Question

Some say that his favourite food is curried duck eggs and that his nose is on loan to the British Museum.

All we know is, he's called The Stig.

Poulsen Hybrid

With this handy kit you can convert your car into the hybrid you've always wanted–if you ever wanted one. Some people do, you know.

Just don't ask where the extra batteries are supposed to go

Aerocar on Ebay

A bit of Future Past is up for auction on Ebay. Yes, you too can have you very own flying car "and apparently it is in working condition."

Note the "apparently" bit before you try for a take off.

i-Real

"Are you going to build one for fat people?"

Don't Mention the War

"My arm's come off!"

KAAN

Mazda's KAAN concept car: So swift, so sleek, so electric, so "Where's the #^$&ing door!"

Formula Zero

Someone has seen Speed Racer too many times

Audi Calamaro

It's finally happened; a concept car that has a message and it's "screw physics".